There are nine traits that those of us truly interested in achieving success in our lives, need to be developing. Many people think that you must measure success by material items such as money in the bank or land owed. However, many people that have things things, live miserable lives. There must be something more. I propose that money, land and other material items are rewards from having success in our lives. We know we are succeeding when these things begin to arrive, but to truly measure success we need to look at our progress in nine specific areas. As these nine develop, we will KNOW we are successful because we will be truly happy.
LOVE:
I am not speaking of the love between two sexual partners here. I am talking about a deeper thing. A love of life itself.. of people.. of events. The more we develop a spirit of love in our lives, the more we will attract the right people to us. This law of attraction is often rewarded with the material things that we need. This love is demonstrated at a far deeper level and is not something you can "fall out of." I plan to blog more specifically on this type of love in the near future.
Joy:
What good is a thousand things in life if you get know joy from what you have. If the sound of your child or grand child's laugh does not bring a soft smile to you own lips. People like to be around happy people. It adds to the law of attraction. In addition, when you get genuine joy out of your work, your life, your family or whatever you are seeking to improve, people notice. This in turn brings rewards that are often unasked for and unlooked for by the one who sees life though the eyes of a happy child. Childlike vision but not childish!
Peace:
This is an internal peace. Have you ever met someone that despite the fact that those around them are screaming how the world is ending, the ship is sinking and the company is failing, seem to calmly address matters at hand. This is the type of peace that each of us must strive for in our lives. A sense of centeredness that cannot be shattered by day to day chaos that will pass if we do not let ourselves get caught up in it.
Patience:
Our world has become caught up in a instant gratification message. We even complain when our fast food at McDonald's or Burger King is too slow? Despite the fast pace of the world, we expect our needs to be met even faster. However, with the internal peace above and some patience, one can spot opportunities that others would have missed. The rewards of the long journey outweigh the wants of the moment. If this is mastered, great things can be slowly gained.
Kindness:
Want to see the lack of Kindness in the USA today? All you have to do is go to a public high school or read teenage blogs. These children mirror their parents and are back stabbing, mean spirited and often cruel in packs. Teachers today are not surprised about the horrid things do and say anymore; they are surprised by unasked for acts of kindness and this is a sad statement. By learning to be kind and learning to teach our children to be kind, we an improve the world as a whole. Plus, people remember who was kind to them. Many people have received surprise windfalls years later from someone they did not even remember. But that person remembered the random act of kindness and it left a lasting impression in their lives. This is the concept from the movie "Pay it Forward." If only we could all practice paying it forward every day.
Goodness:
Often in my counseling sessions with those who are both criminal and addicted, we spend a lot of time talking about "doing the right thing when no one is looking." That is the type of goodness I am talking about. Not the kind where everyone pats you on the back, but the type where you know in your heart of hearts that you are doing the right thing. When one lives life this way, there is little to regret or feel shame over. This type of shame free lifestyle allows one to interact freely without others and hide nothing about who they are. This in turn builds trust which is often rewarded in life.
Faithfulness:
This can be to a higher power, moral belief system or whatever is the guiding principle of your life. Whatever it is that you believe in.. remain faithful to it. A person who is a chameleon may blend in to each and every environment but he can remain true to none of them. The self confidence that comes from remaining to faithful to one's beliefs, god or guiding principles instills a noticeable type of confidence. It also helps guide what is right in and for your life. You will not enter a business deal that goes against this because you know that it will increase stress and worry and likely fail due to an ability to fully embrace it.
Gentleness
My Grandmother always said I would catch more flies with honey, I thought that weird since who wants to catch flies? But now I know what she meant, I would attract things to me with a kind and gentle touch, a sweetness if you will. A gentle word is always appreciated; bad news received ever so much better if delivered with a gentle tone. My children respond better to a gentle order then a harsh command. Being kind and gentle just makes since. Never mistake these two together for weakness. Some of the kindest, most gentle people I know are hard as nails when it comes to what is right or enforcing their boundary.
Last but not least: Self Control
This one practically speaks for itself. Without self control, we fail at many of the above. Can we not over indulge, over spend? Can we control our temper or impatience? These things are paramount to success. How can we ever find the peace or love above if we cannot control our impulses?
No one will likely ever live all nine of these to perfection. The goal therefore, is progress and not perfection. By learning to work on these, we increase our attractiveness to opportunities, windfalls and genuine happiness and success in our lives. Pick one each week and make it a goal to improve one thing in that area. Eventually, every couple of months, you will come back around to the first one. Evaluate your progress over the two months and reset the goal from before or set a higher or new goal to improve that area. This creates a personal plan of self improvement that when embraced whole-heartedly cannot help but to improve the quality of life.
Have a Balanced week!
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