A child’s fear of a monster under the bed or in the closet is exceedingly common. This fear is also acutely real to the child. One of the most common mistakes parents make is to tell their child that they should not feel that way or that they are imagining the monster. This sets up the child to begin to have self doubt. After all, the person that they trust most is telling them that something they feel is inappropriate. Feelings once manifested are very real. That fear is as vivid to your child as the fear one would experience in the presence of a tiger.
The first thing to do is reassure your child and calm them. This loving response to their fear validates that they are safe and loved. Often this fear is a result of natural development of the imagination. Adults have become desensitized to this manifestation of the day, and yet even then we occasionally can experience random nightmares. This is just developing for your child and is a natural stage. Offering them comfort and reassurance gives them security that they are safe at night as they move through this developmental stage.
Relating your own experiences as a child can be helpful. For Example, let your child know that when you were little, you also feared the monster under the bed. By letting your child know you have felt this way, you accept their emotions. After all, you are still well and whole, and the monster never hurt you.
One way to help your child is to have them describe the monster to you. What does it look like? What color is the monster? Is it a boy monster or a girl monster? Does it have a name? If it is a frequent dream, you may even, as part of the calming of the child, let him or her to draw the monster for you. This refocuses their attention from their fear to this creative expression of their development. It also allows you to see if there may be a specific trigger that is prompting their fear. Maybe the monster looks like something from a cartoon you let them watch or something that happened in their day. It will help you manage the triggers to avoid especially for reoccurring fear.
Do not attempt to scare off the monster. This validates for the child that the monster is indeed something that must be feared. Also, do not use it as a behavior management tool. Threats, such as “if you are not good, that monster under the bed will get you,” will secure your child’s fear and in the long run will cause damage to your child. One technique, if it is a reoccurring problem, is to tell your child that you know this monster, and it is very nice. This reassures your child that you believe them but at the same time enforces that they are safe.
It is also possible that your child is not quite ready for solitary sleeping in the dark. Minimize the impact of his or her sleeping environment. Are there any toys or objects in the area that can take an ominous shape in the dark? Consider a night light or leaving the door to the hall open. Your child will progress through this stage of development, but they may need a little extra support during this time.Cloud B Twilight Ladybug (Google Affiliate Ad)Dream Baby Motion Sensor Led Night-Light (Google Affiliate Ad)
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