"Have One Week, Will Relax"

Your 7 days program to Stress management

They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

Act AS If.. do not mourn have not!

If you want a quality, act as if you already had it.

- William James


This Quote Reminds me of my article I did about the brain being like a smart bomb. Affirmations are also built on this concept. When we act as if we have ________ it is not long before life somehow fills it in for us. Act as if your happy, and unless you have a medical condition that impairs this, you will find yourself having more and more moments of happiness. Act as if you are deserving of success and success will find you.

The law of attraction has never been disproved. Like attracts like and there is also proof that the brain releases energy. For example, one test done was when a priest blesses water, the vibrations in the water actually change. We are more powerful and more deserving then we believe. The question of the day is... Do you believe?

"Life With Woody" 10 inspirational quotes than can improve yourself

(A friend sent this to me and gave me permission to share it. They have rights. I liked it and thought it fit into what I love to share with you all)

How do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing.

Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants after laughing so hard. Despite of what's been happening, and to those who has gone though the ordeal, it's better to just laugh while facing the troubles with a clear mind than anger with a clouded vision. One of my favorite celebrities of all time may have to be Woody Allen. Now this is one guy who gives you the in-your-face bluntness that he pulls out with gusto, even without even trying. You can talk just about anything with a man, and he's bound to mock the subject and you'll end up laughing rather than being upset about it.

Woody Allen has this to say:

1. "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.

2. "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.

3. "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up.

Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.

4. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!

5. "A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'." It sounds, 'practical', I think.

And when it comes to everyday life, he really knows how to make the best out of every possible scenario, and it doesn't involve a lawsuit if he strikes a nerve.

6. "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." I never had a boat in my bathtub before. Just staring at it while soaking in hot water makes me seasick already.

7. "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.

8. "I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose." It could get worse when you're guzzling on beer… or mouthwash, and it happened to me once!

9. "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that.

And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.

And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.

10. "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."

That is it, that is the ten my friend sent to me. However, I would like to point out that laughter does release neurotransmitters that are responsible for easing stress and that feel good feeling. So maybe... laughter really IS the best medicine. Test it for yourself, make yourself laugh right now. Go on, don't feel stupid. Get that belly laugh rolling... and see if YOU don't feel better.

Have a prosperous day!

If You Are Not Loving Life Than Change Your Point of View

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Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts, shared that, "Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars."-

In a writing contest, if you’ve placed second, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

Life is filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

Optimists expect the best

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune---it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the 'problem' at hand. They use 'positive reinterpretation.' In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

People respond positively to optimists

Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

Optimists are healthier and live longer

Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body's ability to fight disease.

Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

If At First You Don't Suceed....

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Every failure is a step to success.

- William Whewell


My Grandmother used to irritate me as a child when I would get frustrated and want to quit. She would always say .. "If at first you don't succeed, try try again." I do not know where that quote comes from, but as a child, I would have loved to kick them in the knee. Now, older and wiser, I see what my grandmother tried so hard to teach me. Success that comes easy is not nearly as valued as that success which eludes us for a time but then we overcome and achieve.

There is deep satisfaction in rising to a challenge and discover that you can overcome an obstacle or learn something that seemed out of reach. The things I have gained easily in life are treated more with an easy come.. easy go mentality. We see that in marriages today. Little effort is made to save them. The road gets hard and the two part paths. One cannot help but wonder how different our country would be today if people figured out how to work and live together.

Do not count your failures, count your steps to success. Each painful step, each back breaking lesson, each heartbreaking loss makes the victory just that much sweeter.

Have A Prosperous and Balanced Day!

Internal Motivation versus External Motivation

Strong reasons make strong actions.

- William Shakespeare


Having troubles succeeding at something? First question you need to ask is what is motivating you. If it is outside YOU such as another person's desires, bills or even society; it is almost impossible to really find what you are looking for in life. The first ingredient for success at anything whether it be recovery from addiction or $100,000 in the bank is a strong reason for doing so and being able to name that desire.

One you have an internal reason for anything, the brain has a much easier time helping problem solve possible solutions and paths for achievement. When a roadblock shows up or a set back, you will push through rather then give up because it is YOUR reason you are working for.

So today's ingredient for success and balance is.... what do you want and why do you want it? It is the first step to reaching any goal.

Thought of the Day - December 17th

Knowledge is the treasure of a wise man.

- William Penn


Education is the most important thing we have has humans. We pass down our growth and discoveries in every category of life. No one can speak higher of the need to get an education then I. However, here is a shock. I do not believe that it necessarily need to be within a four year institution.

Depending on your career choices, an internship or apprenticeship may be far more valuable in your time spent. In this case, education needs to be gained to fill in the gaps that such types of informal education bring. Our libraries are full of human treasure of thought, insight and wisdom. Colleges offer day type seminar courses. Then of course, there is here on the internet. Be careful here, anyone can put up a website. Make sure your source of information is legetimate. For example, when I wrote my blog on 2012, I made sure to research on sites like NASA and not fan mail from the film.

Two small points I wish to make on this topic today. The first it that there is one area where man refuses to learn from past great minds. When it comes to happiness and personal success, it seems like we are forever reinventing the wheel. Yet centuries of great minds have told us many such things. Early to bed.... or Neither a lender or borrow be.... We know the sayings, yet we do not follow them. We think somehow the formula for us is different. Even I fell prayer to this view of terminal uniquiness. How could someone know from 200 years ago what would possibly help me find happiness today? But the truth is, they did and do. Things such as not taking others BS personally or to understand that each individual has value and has nothing to prove to anyone but themselves. People go to seminars to learn more about success and happiness and learn the concept of self-affirmation. A free topic taught everywhere yet somehow not believed.

The other point I would like to make is that many individuals do not keep learning past retirement. Without continue stimulation, the mind whithers far more easily. This lack of mental challenge and/or goals for after retirement has led to a quick end for many of our older citizens. If you are approaching retirement, NEVER stop learning. Find a topic that interests you and get involved. Do not stop working and then wither away in front of a television set. Your generation has too much to offer to us younger individuals who still are living with the misconception that time old wisdom couldn't possibly apply to us!

Thought of the Day - December 17th

I will prepare and some day my chance will come.

- Abraham Lincoln

Those of us stuck in a fast and easy mindset struggle with the idea that we may have to delay gratification. However, if we can push through that must have it now mentality, and prepare for our future, we will prevail. Whether it be saving, going to school or not jumping into a relationship just to avoid being alone; we might be better off if we can just wait.

Waiting ... patience.. is not an overall strength more most Americans. We have become accustomed to instant news, instant cash from a machine or credit card, instant transportation and much more.. heck even our food can be delivered in less then five minutes to our hands in many cases. Our children our becomeing programmed to expect this. We see this in the current generation just beginnning to work. They are struggling in the work world with expectations that don't meet old school boss ethics.

If you can make yourself wait 48 hours before doing anything other then buying necessities, you will be surprised how much you will save as the urge for gratification lessens. (The latest electronic device, computer game or kitchen gadget is not a necessity)

Mr. Lincoln was before our time, but his wisdom still remains relevant.

Quote of the Day - December 16th

Aspire rather to be a hero than merely appear one.

- Baltasar Gracian

Who is your hero?
What qualities does your hero have that you admire?
Are you implementing those qualities into your life today?

Just a quick food for thought......

DrinkACT
Your Balance Guide

Complaining is Not Problem Solving - Part One

I bet if you sat down and really thought about it. You could make a long list of the things over the last 30 days that you have complained about. It might be something as simple as the weather and the traffic all the way to the complicated such as the economy.

Some things that we complain about, we have no control over. The weather is beyond our ability to change. The most we can do to solve that problem is to move somewhere with different weather. But even the best place in the world has bad weather days. That is right, even Florida and Hawaii have their miserable days.

Some things we complain about, we have a small amount of control over. We, ourselves, have no control over traffic. We do have control over routes, times we travel and even how we travel. Examples of problem solving rough traffic would be leaving earlier, taking a different route or riding the public transportation so we can read that novel we have had no time to complete.

However, many things we whine and complain about we have complete control over. We complain about our incomes while we instead could be studying for promotion or applying for a better job. We complain about our spouses but make no attempts to take the first step to repair the relationship. If all we do is complain, we are not in solution, we are part of the problem. Negativity, especially in the workplace, spreads. I can complain about something small in the break room and soon everyone is listing all the reasons the company is horrible. If you are not doing ANYTHING to solve the problem - you have no RIGHT to complain.

My favorite Poem about this topic goes like this:

This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.

Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done
Author: Unknown

Will you be an Anybody? Or will you be Everybody and get the same results Everybody has always gotten?

Complaining is Not Problem Solving - Part Two

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The reason it is so easy to complain rather then solve problems is that we have become a society of addicts and self-indulgent behaviors. That may sound harsh but look at the list of addictions facing our society today. (these are not in any particularity order)

* Fast and Easy: Most of us have never known true lack in our life. Since our country recovered from the last World War and the Great Depression, here in the USA we have been on the upswing until recently. We have learned to expect everything at our fingertips. Most people in the cities would have no idea how to survive if their electronics ceased to function for them and the grocery store could no longer provide for them. Our news, our money, even our food can be delivered to us with ease and no effort on our parts. This is very evident in many employees under the age of 30. Employers are finding they are quick to jump to the next employer that might offer them more. They quit when they feel they are made to work TOO hard. They quit when "their" needs are not met. It is like the employment is their right and the employer is there to provide them with something rather then the other way around. Much of the complaining in a work place environment is connected to this mentality. "My employer does not give me time to study this material and ACTUALLY expects me to learn what I need for promotion on MY time."

*Internet - This has become an addiction for many. Whether it be online games, just surfing or chat rooms - it has a severe impact. A definition of an addiction is anything done to excess that causes harm in your life. This addiction has destroyed marriages, has led to isolation from face to face relationships and has even been connected to neglect and death of children.

*Food - An addiction that is epidemic in the USA and many other countries. Like a drug addict, food has become a solace to true needs. It is used to nullify emotions, deal with stress and cover other problems. Add to this the combined problem of the changes in our food supply due to the fast and easy addiction and we meet this need with foods that are harmful, add fat and no true nutrition. This only increases the need as sugar and harmful carbs are actually craved.

*Alcohol - I have separated this from other drug addictions but let me make it clear there is no difference between the Heroin Addict under the bridge and the socialite who can not go the evening without her daily cocktails. I separated it because so many in society will say well yes I drink, but at least I am not using drugs. If jobs are lost, relationships damaged, children neglected due to alcohol use, then alcohol IS the problem. Alcohol is legal, this is true. It is still a drug. So is Oxycontin if you have a prescription, but if abused it is still an addiction. Alcohol makes it easy to scream out your woes and totally blocks most people from any true solution. Oh, they may come up with a solution and even act on it; but often it is not well thought out.

*Drugs - Many people in our society have learned to turn to pills for easy solutions. Every pain, sad thought and frantic moment is often medicated these days. Only a physician can say if this is really necessary. Unfortunately, many people have began to self medicate. They take other people's prescriptions. When that fails, they are forced to seek out street dealers. Methamphetamine is becoming a rampant problem. It started on the west coast and is spreading east. Unlike many addictive substances, one use can lead to a full blown addiction. Families destroyed, jobs lost, possessions sold till at last the addict is forced to a life of crime to meet the overpowering need. Unlike many drugs, due to how it is manufactured and what it is made up of, it's effects on the body are horrendous. It eats the teeth from the inside out. So the addict may not see the harm for sometime. It eats away at the body, sucking up the individual to a thin skeleton who ages with each passing week. It leads to often permanent mental health conditions due to damage to the brain from the drug itself and from sleep deprivation and malnutrition.

There are many other addictions out there impacting societies beside the USA, we are not unique in that aspect. The drug of choice may vary. The latest gambling idea may be different as well. But addiction is an epidemic that impacts almost all families in some way. We must as individuals learn to solve our problems without the use of a crutch. When we have done that, we can teach our families to do the same. Then our families can reach out and show our society how to face life on life's terms. Learning to solve our problems despite whether they are emotional, physical, social or spiritual is the first step in true happiness and prosperity in life.

Complaining is Not Problem Solving - Part Three

If you are complaining and yet doing nothing, then you have NO right to complain. Only when you have done everything you can on your part, have you earned the right to voice your displeasure. Even then, it should be voiced to those who can take the next step. So how do you problem solve.

1. Define the problem: What are all the aspects of the problem. Brainstorm all elements of it. Look at what contributes to it, what those contributions cause and what the end result is. Circle everything that you can impact or make a change to. Pick one or two that you can begin to work on today.

2. Set Goals: Turn what you have circled into goals. Work out everything you need to do to achieve the goals. It might be only one thing. It might take several steps. By breaking it into small parts, you can then begin to break it down. Get ideas from others. Show them what you are working on. Two, three or even more minds are better then one. If it is a company problem, give it to everyone to send in ideas.

3. ACT: It can not be stressed enough that without action, a goal is just a dream. Part of the addiction - Fast and Easy - leads to procrastination. We will put off today whatever we can in hopes someone else will fix it. Remember the poem in part one. You must choose to act and do so. You have destination - You have a map. Start the car and go.

4. Learn: As you move down the path to the goal, learn from what works and what does not. The light bulb was not invented in the first try, not even the 500th try so do not expect your first solution to necessarily solve the problem. If it does not, look it over. What did you do that was working. What did you do that was not. Go back to step two and start over. It might even require you to go back to step one. Maybe the problem was not what you thought as you began to work on it.

A body in motion stays in motion. It is a scientific fact. It is no different for our brain. Once we truly commit to solving a problem, (notice I said truly and not half heartedly) our brain even while we sleep will be attempting to solve it. Ever wake up with an idea? That is why.

Think about the title of this article. Are you a problem solver or a complainer. Problem solvers find solutions and then find success and happiness. Complainers find more problems to complain about. Misery loves company so do not let these termites of your organizations and companies bring you to their level. Solve problems and take action. Only then will life around you change in the manner that will bring you peace and comfort.

Why DrinkACT for Extra Income?

I have been asked multiple times why I choose DrinkACT with all the opportunities out there for my primary business. I thought I would spend a short time today and answer that question.

* First, I wanted a business with an online presence that could also be done offline. DrinkACT Gave me that.

* Second, I wanted a reputable company. DrinkACT is publically held. It's stock is ETEV. A company strong enough to go public with a residual income was exactly what I was looking for.

* Third, Low expenses: DrinkACT did not charge me for this state of the art website: http://drinkact.tv/cherylmatthynssens The monthly requirement for my residual check was the lowest I have ever seen. There was no start up fee. This meant I could invest in product and not a ton of other fees that had nothing to do with the business other then the company making money.

* Fourth - A Good Product Line at a Great Price. The main product is an energy drink along the lines with Monster, Red Bull or 5 hour energy. The product was competitive by price. If I get it in powder to add to water, it is only 1.00 a drink.

Added to that, I have a highly supportive upline, I am losing weight on the product line and I am HAVING TO NOT garage qualify. (order more then I can use to get my check) Truth is, I would use ACT even if I was not a Dealer for them.

Another aspect that has kept me going is that my downline can do business any way they want. Ebay, Street Vending, Wholesale to Retail, MLM or any other avenue as long as it does not involve false product claims. We have people doing trade shows and fundraisers even.

If you add all this up together with the fact that the only thing I pay to do business is my product I use to sample. Who would NOT get a free website. At the very least, they could get their energy drinks for wholesale prices?

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Live cautiously, but Live Fully!

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

- Marcus Aurelius

Caution is such a two edged sword. We teach our children to be cautious with strangers; to be careful crossing streets. We have traffic lights, signs and symbols for caution. It makes sense to forecast possible danger in the world and then step carefully. So can one be too cautious? Yes!

When you always wait for tomorrow because today is too risky, then you miss on ever taking action. When caution turns into inaction for fear of consequences; life ceases to have any true meaning. Sometimes, one has to weigh all the possibilities and then take a step hoping for the best case scenario and not the worst.

Caution can turn into looking for every possible catastrophe that could possibly occur. Instead of moving with a wary step, the individual become frozen to a state of immobility with a fear of acting. Life is to short to spend it fearful of every possible bad result.

We must live for today, just for today. We must take each day and live it to its fullest. Be aware of the possibilities both good and bad then step forward. Make sure that you are prepared for the worst, but expect the best.

Only when we expect the best can we truly have a hope of achieving the best. The brain always works to achieve what it hears in our thoughts the most. If we expect the worst, chances our we will only see the possibilities and confirmation of the worst. If we expect the best, the same applies, we will see the best possible results.

So use caution as it was meant to be used, to take your time and make good and well thought decisions. Do not fret and worry to a state where you cannot take an action. Only by embracing each day for all it can bring us can we truly hope to enjoy life. Such principles are time honored as evident by today's quote. Wisdom does not change even in the face of progress. Live cautiously, but Live Fully!

Revenge - A Dish Best NOT Served!

The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.

- Marcus Aurelius

In life and business, we cannot get sucked into the concept of revenge. If we turn our focus away from our own personal success and fullfillment, we lose the balance that is necessary to maintain it. Revenge requires a great deal of wasted energy on the emotions behind it, the plotting and coniving that goes with it. If you want revenge, then get it through the very thing you desire most, success in your life.

Most people who cause us hurt or injury are usually jealous of us anyway. So rather then wasting that energy, just keep getting better and better. Then not only can you smile at the frustration of the one who was jealous, but you can do so with a clean conscience and without hours of wasted fretting and fuming.

It is strange how for centuries, great poets, prophets and political leaders have been telling us the keys to happiness and success, yet we continue to beat our heads against the stone wall next to the door. Go back to the old quotes, the old knowledge. The human experience has not changed. Jealousy and hatred has existed since man first had something that another did not.

True happiness is being okay within your own skin. Living each day the best you can and going to bed knowing it was your best. It is not caring what others think but being open minded enough to hear their feedback in case you missed something or cannot see it due to lack of knowledge or bad habit. Let the little people in life waste away on hatred and jealousy. Let them spend energy on revenge. That is just that much less competition you have in seeking out success in your own life.

The Six Essential Rules to Success!

Success in life has rules just like everything else in life.  If there is hot there is cold if there is sadness then there is joy.  If there is poverty then there is Prosperity.  Recognizing that everything in the universe has a set of criteria that defines it makes everything understandable and achievable.  Success is no Different.  I have compiles six guidelines for Prosperity that can be utilized by anyone with the desire to achieve.

Rule #1
Potential

The First rule required for success is to recognize that you have the potential to achieve more in life in any area you choose have picked to focus your attention.  Too many human beings sell themselves short.  Most of us have not even begun to tap our true potential in life.   Only when we recognize that we are capable of more, will we then move forward and achieve more. 

Make a list of all your strengths and your faults/weaknesses. STOP HERE and do not read on till you have made your list!

Which list was easier for you to create?  If you said your weaknesses, then you are like most individuals who do not focus on what they CAN do, they focus on what they cannot.    If your lists were equal, then you have reached the stage where at least you can see what you have and what you have yet to perfect.  If you say your strengths, then you have learned to recognize your potential OR you have a tendency to next accept that you have faults.  Careful of the second, we all have areas that we need to improve upon.  Being able to recognize them is also strength.  By the way, for the first group, was that strength on your list?? I bet it was not.

Rule #2
Selflessness 

One of the things that the universe also teaches is that in order to receive, you have to give.   You cannot have fire without first creating a form of heat.  You cannot have money without effort of some sort.  Many criminals will tell you that money gained without any effort rarely has value.  Easy come... so it is easy go and go it will!  So what does this have to do with selflessness?  Our universe fills voids.  For example, to get rid of an old habit, I must replace it with a healthy one.  I just can't eliminate the bad habit.  The bad habit met some need of mine and if it is not replaced, then once again, the need is not being met.  If the need is not being met, the habit will either reappear or another habit (good or bad) will replace it.    

If you apply this to success, then to receive you must give.  What you give may vary; it might be your time, money or creativity.   Many business people will tell you that you cannot make money without spending money.  The basic precept is true, but you can make money without money if you have something to give in exchange.   But Zig Ziglar had the precept down to a science, "I find success by helping others to find success."  I have found this precept to be true time after time.  My biggest successes whether they were monetary or just personal joy have been when someone else achieved.  MLM's are built on this precept.  The upline is only successful if the downline is successful.  This is a forced version of a basic law of the universe. What you want in life, you must give away.  Monetary compensation will follow if you learn to truly apply the law of selflessness.

 

Rule #3
Allowance

Allowance, what does that have to do with success?  Ever 'try' to do something?  Let us do an experiment.  Drop an item of the floor and 'try' to pick it up.  Okay, is it in your hand?  Yes? Well then, you failed.  I did not tell you to pick it up.  I told you to try.  Yoda from Star wars told Luke, do or do not.   That precept is as basic as it gets.  You cannot force success or life.  We do not make the sun rise, it just does.  The same applies to success.  You cannot 'try' to get it, and you cannot force it.  You must allow it to come to you through your daily efforts.  The path of least resistance is always followed by nature for a reason. When energy is expended in a direction contrary to its nature, then there is no energy left for accomplishment.  In the human experience, it is not uncommon to see businessmen frantically going about their day with high stress and no joy.  They are so busy 'trying' for success that they cannot enjoy their own prosperity.  Their family might enjoy the prosperity but often this forced effort is not enjoyed and often leads to medical consequences such as high blood pressure and heart attacks.  Live life to the fullest every day.  Live it to your potential. Success will follow.  It has to follow because it is a basic law.   

One note here:  Define what success to you is. Is it a dollar amount?  Freedom? Time?  What is it and how will you know if you have achieved it?  Once you have achieved it, then what? 

Rule #4
Goals

The last note leads to the next rule. You must have goals.  You do not get in a car normally and drive aimlessly.  You have a destination in mind.  You may need maps to get there. Depending on how far you are going, you might even have to plan stops, expenses and meals.  Life is no different.  A life without any goals is a life wandered and lived aimlessly.  Your goals do not have to be mine.  Your goal might be as simple as a small boat on the lake on warm sunny weekends and mine might be to fly into space before I leave this life.  It does not matter how small or how extravagant, a life must have goals.

Make a dream board or book.  This is a pictorial reference with notes of everything you want in life.  Everything you want to do, see, have or be.  Look at it often!  Keep your goals in mind.  Have at least one you are working towards at any given moment and mark it on your board or in your book.  Then break that goal down into achievable and measurable steps.  Let's say my goal is to get promoted.  I go and sit down with my boss and flat out ask. What do you need to see in me or what do I need to improve to get a promotion down the road.  I take the list from my boss. It might be education, experience or even just showing that I have invested myself into the company.   Next, break the goal down into achievable, measurable and time focused steps.  For example, let's say one thing I needed was better communication skills.  I might set a date to join toastmasters, or a date to start a class at the local college to improve those skills.

Whatever you dream of should be in your book. Whatever you plan to actually work on should be your goals.  Each goal should have ladder like steps to measure progress.  If you miss a date, do not give up the goal.  Go back and ask yourself was my timeline realistic?  If it was, did I procrastinate anywhere?  Identify what delayed your progress and rectify it. Once that is done, set a new achievement date and keep on going.  We only fail in life when we give up!

Rule #5 
Let Go!

Once you set your goal, - let it go.  Do not spend every day measuring your progress.  Even in weight loss they tell you to only weigh in once a week. It is the same with your goals.  Pick a day of the week to figure out if you achieved your weekly goals and set new ones.  Once that session of self-evaluation is done, then let it go!  Live each day to the fullest.  Remember the law of selflessness.  Give of your time and your energy but trust that the outcome will occur as long as you are not trying to force it.  Each time you force your goals, they no longer bring any satisfaction in the bigger picture because often basic building blocks of the foundation are not strong.  It may look like you are making progress only to have it crumble near the top.  Just trust in whatever higher power you have and move forward. 

 

Rule #6
Purpose

I have a solid belief that everyone has purpose.  If your chosen goals do not bring you happiness, you are contrary to your purpose.  If your job is something you dread going to, it is not in line with your purpose. Now in this economy, I am not suggesting that you throw in the towel and quit your job.  But what I am suggesting is that while you have that job, you start looking elsewhere.  Do not think that winning the lottery will solve the problem if you are still not living to your potential (rule 1) and your purpose.  More than one affluent person has committed suicide, been throw multiple marriages and so on.   They are not happy, because they are not at purpose.  Everything in this universe has a purpose.  What is yours?  You will know it when you find it.  You could be out under the sun and sweating profusely and there will be a smile on your face if you are aligned with your purpose. 

Living these six rules in life is difficult.  I am not going to hint that they are not.  Sometimes, I forget to look at my dream board and lose focus.  How about you?  Sometimes, I do not let go and try to force results only to spend money I should not have or energy that is wasted.  How about you?  Sometimes, I try to rush to the end of a goal and do not lay out a path that will actually get me there.  How about you?  Sometimes, I am my own worst enemy and cite to myself every possible fault I have and reason why I will not achieve a goal and forget I have strengths.  How about you?

What I can tell you is when these six rules are in line in my life.  I am happy. I do not worry about money.  I do not dread getting up in the morning.  My alarm clock, like Zig Ziglar often says, becomes my "opportunity clock."  Someday, and it IS in my dream book, I will live all six daily because with that day, comes not only success, but happiness!

Have a prosperous day!
Cheryl Matthynssens
The Balance Guide

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How to Get Free One Way Backlinks Virally

One way backlinks is one of the best and most effective ways to get high positions in search engines and milk these positions for targeted traffic. But getting quality one way links is a big job.

Free Traffic System is a new project that helps you to get top quality one way links for free - unlimited number of one way links, because you build as many as you need. Moreover, Free Traffic System has integrated a brand new concept of viral marketing, rewarding its members with bonus one way links.

Before getting to the viral part of the project, it is important to explain where exactly you are getting these backlinks. The backlinks are built inside real blog posts, not in the footer or blogroll - in the very body of the real, unique blog post. This is the most safe way to build one way links, because you give real unique content to the visitors in the blog posts and search engines will always welcome it - search engines were created to help people in finding quality information in the Internet.

You get backlinks from relevant sites that belong to real people in different niches. Natural, safe and smart way to build backlinks for free. You submit one article to Free Traffic System and it converts into up to 60 top quality one way backlinks! And - unlike traditional article marketing - no one will delete your backlinks from the article, like they do when stealing your content from article directories.

The viral part of Free Traffic System is simple - they reward people for bringing others into this free project. You are receiving a BONUS backlink on every 3rd post that people whom you referred to Free Traffic System are making. This means you get bonus backlink on article No 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, etc. of all people who got into the system via the affiliate link.

As every article can be republished on up to 30 sites in Free Traffic System, this means that one article with your bonus link equals to 30 backlinks from Free Traffic System. 2 articles = 60 bonus backlinks, 3 articles = 90 bonus backlinks. And this is in addition to the unlimited backlinks that you can build inside Free Traffic System yourself.

And the final perk of the viral strategy. If you add at least one WordPress blog to Free Traffic System, they instantly increase the number of bonus backlinks by 7%.

So, in Free Traffic System you get:

- free backlinks that you build yourself
- viral bonus backlinks for affiliating people into the project
- viral bonus backlinks for adding your blog(s) to Free Traffic System


With this free backlink building power targeted traffic from search engines becomes just a matter of time.

Is your Business Prepared for 2012?

Is there any Science behind 2012 predictions for the World to end?

There are actually three scientifice hypothesis that can be found at this time. The first is that around 2011 to 2012, our sun will have one of the worst solar storms ever predicted. Mausumi Dikpati of the National Center for Atmospheric Research (NCAR) was quoted from science.Nasa.com. "The next sunspot cycle will be 30% to 50% stronger than the previous one," When the sun is throwing out radiation in a solar storm, it effects the ocean currents. This in turn, effects the weather. In the 1958 storm, the northern lights were seen as far south as Mexico on 3 different occaisions.



The effect on our current state of affairs in 2012 at the very least could be on our communication. Our world has become increasing reliant on satellite technology. At the least, we will see weather affects and possible sporadic communication problems. On a more massive scale, it could affect power companies. There is documentation to support that previous solar flares have resulted in subsequent transformer failures. This was with storms of a much smaller magnitude then what is predicted for 2012.



The worst case scenario is that a cascade failure of our power grids will slowly shut down power across the united states. Many other necessities are tied directly to power and such a cascade failure would be difficult to bring back on line quickly. Potable water is reliant on electricty. In our plastic world, few carry cash any more but without power, stores will not be able to take credit cards if they even decide to open. This will continue to spiral. Perishable foods will be gone in 12-24 hours. Depending on the weather, cooling or heating will be an issue for many people. Medicines will not be able to be refilled. Emergency services will be strained as time passes and predictions are that this may last for months. Trade will stop. Banks will close. There are plenty of articles on FOX news and NASA on this upcoming human event. Are you prepared?



The second hypothesis tracking for 2012 is the passing of Planet X. Geologic history shows that there have been world events at a geologic level every 2000 years. Planet X has an approximate 4000 year rotation, which means it is visible every 2000 years. Even more interesting is that more then one culture with little contact with one another have predicted as global event beside the Mayan. Sumerian, Zulu and Hindus also have global or time ending events preducted for 2012. Coincidence? The Mayan and Sumerian's were major civilizations that spawned others, were on different continents and had no contact.

If there is truth to this hypothesis, then the reason for concern is that the passing planet will affect magnetic fields, gravitation of our planet in turn impacting weather, tides and much more. There is much cover up hype around this theory. According to conspiracy theorists, our governments knows all about this approaching catastrophe and is not telling the people of our world because.. well what can we really do about it? So why panic the public? Of the three theories, this one has the most horrific worst case scenarios. Some have hypothesized that the last pass of Planet X resulted in the great flood recorded in the bible.



The third theory is a more complex one. Our galaxy, the Milky Way, has an equator much like our world does. It is called the galatic equator. Our solar system rollar coasts above the plane and back down below it in a very slow movement. In 2012, our solar system will pass through this galatic equator. This will create a great gravitational pull on our solar system. There is data from astronomists to support this move through the galatic equator. It, by itself, would not be so bad. But theory one also has strong scientific data to support. To have the sun at solar maximum at the same time it passes through the galatic equator makes one's imagination jump to all kind of horrific possibilities. It is no wonder that doomsday fanatics have honed in on this date of the Mayan Calendars.

It is easy to consider the horrific possibilities if all three theories turn out to be true. Regardless of whether these theories impact us on a minor scale or a horrific one, it does not hurt to be prepared. The fact is, on our world, earthquakes, tsunamis, floods and tornadoes happen. Our government in the USA has been spreading information to the public to create a 3 day readiness kit. Regardless of the emergency form, preparedness just makes good sense.

This expectation is important for your business as well. Often, disasters such as tsunami, earthquake and tornadoes happen while your employees are at work. It is important that you have a plan in place specifically for business. How will you help them reunite with family or get home? Can you feed and protect them if they are stuck in your place of business? Do they have a way to call and report in as to their status? Plan Now!

Get Prepareness Kits at : http://www.squidoo.com/survivalin2012

Time For White Elephant Parties!

The practice of White Elephant Gifts actually started long ago. White Elephants were considered very sacred and therefore were protected. Emperors, therefore, made a practice of giving these elephants to nobles that had displeased them. Due to the laws protecting these rare and beautiful animals, the noble could not kill it, give it away or sell it. To refuse the gift would be to insult their Emperor. They were stuck with a symbol of disfavor that they must protect, feed and give precious care to. A rich noble who found himself in such disfavor would have to quickly move to replace favor for if the Emperor found more then one of these rare Elephants, the noble could find himself quickly without the riches he had enjoyed in an attempt to feed the appetites of more then one such gift.

Today, this practice in the office place and at differing social gathering has come to mean a series of gag gifts or a gift with a small expense. It is designed to bring a smile or a laugh to the recipient. Office places often go with white elephant gift exchanges to keep up moral and to prevent one person from getting something exceedingly expensive and another something someone regifted and didn't want.

I went and found my favorite twenty white elephant gifts and I also put up some party ideas!

To see the list - go here and vote for your favorite

Do Not Chase Happiness for You Will Never Catch It

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.

- Henry David Thoreau

It is amazing to me how we lose sight of gratitude in our haste and search for more. So many in our world have put price tags or destinations on 'happiness'. Happiness will not be achieved when I get______________ or have _________ in the bank. This can be seen by the many who have such things and are miserable to the point of even suicide.

Happiness is a state of mind. Whether we want to admit it or not, we can achieve happiness at any moment if we but set our minds to it. All you have to do is take a moment and remember moments that brought you a smile. Make a gratitude list for all the things you have right now.

In school, a well provided student asked a group of us why the old man on the corner with the hot dog cart was always so happy. In her perspective, since he did not have the house, the car and the lifestyle she enjoyed, he could not possibly be happy. We talked her into asking him, how he always had a smile. He told us a story that still brings tears to my eyes. This wonderful man who sold hotdogs spoke of a war that few of us had first had a first had awareness. He told of a beautiful wife that still graced his home. He spoke of a daughter that had survived cancer. He then talked of how he had nearly died from a heart attack and he was thankful that the good Lord was given him another day to hold his wife. Needless to say, his story was far better told and much more heart rendering from his lips. I still smile at his final words. "Best of all, I get to stand and chat with pretty young things like you all day and get paid to do it." We all bought a hotdog with a smile and a bit of reflection on how much we take life for granted.

If you are chasing happiness, STOP, you will never catch it. You already have everything you need in your possession. Refocus on what you have and not on what you have yet to acquire. Would the journey for more then be about just adding to the joy you already have in your life. Whether it is marriage, business, relationships or even possessions, the grass is rarely greener on the other side. We have just lost site of the preciousness on our side of the fence. In this month of Gratitude, reflect and find the very thing you have been chasing - Happiness!



"Tap Into The Ultimate Power of The Universe To Create The Perfect Reality You Desire! Manifest Super Riches, Happiness and The Very Best Life You Could Ever Enjoy!"

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Thanksgiving Folklore Has Becomes Historical Fact

It is said that history is often told by the winners and it would be a far different tale if told by the losers.


This is the case with our tradition of Thanksgiving. The truth is, both the Native People and the English had been having different sorts of feasts and times of thanks for many years prior to the event that children for years have been reinacting in elementary schools across the United States. In Canada, it is actually celebrated in October. The truth is, no one knows for sure when the actual feast took place.

If one wanted to get very particular, the first thanksgiving was actually December, 4, 1619. The Engish settlers at Berkeley Plantation on the James River (Now Charles City, VA)were required to celebrate the day of arrival in Thanksgiving to God.

Regardless of the many myths listed below, the concept of Thanksgiving is an important one! We must never lose sight of a tradition that crosses cultures around the world and throughout time. Taking time to be grateful for what we have and not focusing on what we do not is important regardless of nationality or religious persuasion. For many cultures, it is a time after harvest to gather together and celebrate the abundance that they have been blessed with. It is also a chance after many hours and weeks spent on cultivating crops, to take a break, to share stories and break bread with family that cannot always be together.



Myths and Facts
Do you know your REAL thanksgiving history?

Myth #1: The First Thanksgiving" occurred in 1621.

Fact: The Native Americans and the English had both been having giveaways, feasts of thanks and celebration for many years before the two cultures met. There is evidence that a feast of thanks was in place in England where a goose was used as the main dish. The turkey was more readily available in the New World.

The first feast was more political and neither side was giving thanks. In actuality, the first Thanksgiving occurred when Captain John Woodlief thankfully led the newly-arrived English colonists to a grassy slope along the James River and instructed them to drop to their knees and pray in thanks for a safe arrival to the New World. It was December 4, 1619, and 38 men from Berkeley Parish in England vowed:

"Wee ordaine that the day of our ships arrivall at the place assigned for plantacon in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually keept holy as a day of Thanksgiving to Almighty God."

Myth #2: The Pilgrims found corn.

Fact: Well, they stole it. There are accounts where they went into Native dwellings and stole from their houses and stock piles. In addition, there is also writing that disclose that they robbed Native graves. While there is record of these thefts, there is no record of any restitution.

Myth #3 The Pilgrims invited the Indians to celebrate the First Thanksgiving.

Fact: The Natives heard the shots of the hunting parties and thought they were preparing for war. In truth, Massasoit showed up with 90 men and no women at the feast ready to do battle. Only when they realized what was occuring did they go out and bring back five deer and wild fowl to add to the feast.

In truth, neither side trusted the other. The English saw the Wampanoag as soulless heathens and the Wampanoag saw the English as thieves and grave robbers.

Myth #4 Pilgrims wore black and white

Fact: There is some truth to this.. on Sundays. At this time, black dye was difficult and expensive. Black clothing was saved for funerals, paintings and Sundays. According the the manifest on the Mayflower, they actually wore hues of blue, green, yellow and red. These colors were much easier to manufacture from the available roots.

Myth #5 The Pilgrims and Indians feasted on turkey, potatoes, berries, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and popcorn.

Fact: Written and oral tradition show that the meal actually included venison, wild fowl, and quite possibly nasaump-dried corn pounded and boiled into a thick porridge, and pompion-cooked, mashed pumpkin. Potatoes and sweet potatoes had not made it that far north at this time. Cranberries would have been too tart to eat without sugar to sweeten them, and the corn of the time could not be successfully popped, there was no popcorn.

You can find more myths and facts at: http://www.oyate.org/resources/shortthanks.html

An Open Mind is Critical to Your Personal Balance and Stress Management!

No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.
- Anonymous


It is amazing how in the human race we need others in our lives to some capacity but are still quick to tribe up. What I mean by that is, we will create a small circle of influence and then stick to it no matter if we have outgrown it or even if we find out later that it harms us.

I see this a lot with those that I work with who are from street gangs. They want a better life. They have matured enough to know that this street life will not allow them to reach a single positive goal they want to set for themselves. However, the loyalty built to that "tribe" gang is so strong that often they cannot walk away. In some instances, that circle itself will threaten if a member tries to move away in a pro-social setting. This is just one example of how the human race has not evolved much despite all the technological advancements we have made.

Do not think that this is any different in the corporate world. Stand back outside of a large corporate environment and you will see many smaller groups that have formed for mutual advancement and protection. Let one person try to rise up and move to a higher group, because either he has the capacity or has outgrown the need for the group he is in, and the back stabbing will start. They do not use guns or knives to eliminate the upstart that dares to defy the group mentality, instead they use malicious words, gossip and false accusations. It is the same behavior but with a different weapon. In some ways, a more deadly one because the individual cannot always tell who is gunning for him. At least in a gang, he has a good idea!

The truth is, we as humans all need to grow and realize that no one is really our enemy. There are people that live and think the way we do. There are people who do not. It does not lessen us or them if they live different, think differently or dare to go outside the societal norm. Almost every great achievement in history has required someone to go outside the societal norm. Often, they are outcasts of the very circle that gave birth to their greatness because people fear change. Others will rally around them in hopes that their vision can be brought to fruition. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi are examples of challenging the societal norm.

When we can begin, especially in business, to look at people for what they can teach us, then we can really rise above the petty tribal squabbles of those who stopped growing. Some people will teach you what NOT to do or how NOT to be. Some people will be your mentors. Sometimes, you will excel beyond your mentors and need to develop new ones. This does not devalue your mentor so do not be afraid to keep them in your circle of influence as a friend or someone of value to your growth. Instead just add to your circle a new mentor.

A mentor should be someone that exhibits something that you want. It could be a way of communicating. It could be their values that led them to success. It may be a simple thing such as a peaceful aura even in stressful times that you wish you had. You can have mentors for each thing that you wish to harvest.

As I reread the quote I started with. I cannot think but that it was a very wise person that must have said it. When we in business can truly understand the meaning of those words, we cannot help but to find success.

Addiction - Don't Let It Steal Your Success!

Addiction is one of the greatest and most costly public health problems in the United States. While all this publicity is going on for the H1N1 Virus, people are dying from a disease far more prevalent in our country. Addiction is the physical or mental dependence on a behavior or a substance. To take that a step further, dependence means that despite the harm it is causing in their lives, they are powerless to stop. It is not limited to drugs and alcohol. There are behaviors that can activate the reward system in the brain. This activation of the Dopaminergic system has the same effect as if someone uses Cocaine or Amphetamines.

Because of the similarities in response from the reward system of the brain, many addicts who are successfully able to quit illegal drug use or stop the use of alcohol will find themselves replacing the drug with behaviors such a sex, gambling, compulsive shopping, excessive exercise video games or even web surfing. Again, the definition of it being an addiction is when it brings harm to themselves or their lives.

Addictions to substances such as alcohol, illegal and prescribed drugs, tobacco and food bring with them other potential areas for harm. Many types of Cancer, Diabetes, liver diseases and life threatening interactions can result from a single use and from prolonged use. The problem becomes perplex due to the system of denial that protects the addict from seeing the harm he/she is causing to others and/or themselves. Add to this that most addictions come on slowly; it is difficult to accept that one needs help.

Help does exist. First and foremost, treatment is available for most any addiction that you might be battling. If you are a friend with an alcoholic or drug addict, most cities have intervention counselors to help you confront the addict and help them to see they are in trouble. You need treatment with the support of people who are struggling with the same addiction and from professionals who understand it. If you don't feel ready for this step, read on.

The next step is to begin Recovery. Once you are an addict, you will always be an addict. But just like a diabetic can control their disease, you can learn to control yours. It is learning about how to tolerate how you feel at any given moment and not have to participate in self destructive or self defeating behaviors and thoughts. It is realizing we didn't get to the place we need recovery overnight so we won't travel to a place of healthy life and wellbeing overnight either. One has to relearn how to have fun without the use of the addictive behavior or substance. It is about learning how to live life... on life's terms.

The next thing is to get involved with support groups. There are tons of support groups out there from spiritually based or church group ones all the way to the original Alcoholics Anonymous. There are groups for sex addicts and food addicts. There is no reason not to have a support group. There are even CODA groups for those that are co-dependent. Which means living with an addict and struggling not to make things easy for them?

Here are some resources for support groups:
http://www.na.org (narcotics anonymous)
http://www.aa.org (alcoholics anonymous)
http://www.codependents.org (codependents anonymous)
http://12step.org (twelve steps to serenity)
Free 24 Hour Addiction Help Line ~ 888-691-3919

You can also check with your church for more spiritual based programs.

If you do not feel like you are ready for this step where others are involved or if you are not sure your loved one needs an intervention, there is an eBook you can get to evaluate and also to get some tools on your own.

Learn about alcoholic tendencies!
Acquire various treatment options!
Learn how to help a friend or family member who is alcoholic!
Learn about drug addiction and methods to deal with it!
Learn alternative methods to the AA approach!
And much, much more!

Remember above all things... seek balance in life. Learn to be happy in your own skin and you will soon find that you do not need to alter your reality!

Have a prosperous day!
Cheryl
http://drinkact.tv/cherylmathynssens

Self Respect Can Be Learned!

According to Merriam-Webster, self respect is defined as: 1: a proper respect for oneself as a human being and 2: regard for one's own standing or position. But what does proper respect of one's self really mean? It is the looking in the mirror and seeing someone of value. It is believing that you are as good as anyone else. E.E. Cummings wrote, "We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

Self Respect is not ignoring the fact that you have faults as a person. It is accepting that you have them and loving yourself despite them. It is knowing that making a mistake or failing at something does not define who we are inside. Many people think that it can be measured by the acts that they do, but self respect is about whom you are and not what you do on the outside. It is not about how we measure up to the person next to us. Our society of competition pushes people to be at their best and if they have strong self respect then they can weather the times when they do not come in first. However, for many it is a killer of both self esteem and self respect because there can only be so many winners in a competitive environment.

So how do we increase self respect? First, listen to how you talk to yourself! Carla Gordon is quoted as saying "If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago." This is so true. The kindest of people to others often is rarely kind to themselves. It is estimated that over 70% of what we say to ourselves is negative. If you put yourself down that much, you cannot help but have little respect for yourself. So, the first step, speak to yourself as you would want others to speak to you.

The next thing you can do is stick to your values. When we lie but have the value of honesty or when we hold resentments yet hold a value to be forgiving, we tear at the very fabric of our values. Every time you act in a manner that is support of what you believe, you increase your respect of self. We will focus on all the reasons we are 'bad' or 'not worthy' which adds to our negative self talk. But when we act in a manner that makes us smile or feel a sense of pride, we walk a little taller and with a little more pep.

One other thing that you can do is to treat others in the manner you wish to be treated. I know, the golden rule has been preached and preached. But face it, the reason that this saying has held throughout the years is that it is a basic truth. In regards to self-respect, when you treat others with respect, most will treat you back in the same way. This raises your value in your own eyes. Forgive others when they make mistakes and then forgive yourself when you make them. This simple thing is so powerful. It leads to the belief that you are exactly what you are meant to be, a constantly improving member of your community that has value and worth.

The last thing is to stand up for you. Hold to your boundaries and your beliefs, but do so with respect. Agree to disagree if you must for the sake of relationships but do not sacrifice your beliefs. Whenever you allow someone to compromise your boundaries and values, you not only lower yourself in their eyes, but yours as well. Believe that you deserve to have an opinion, happiness and success.

If you work to develop your self-respect, you will find that your relationships will improve. Those you work with and for will seem more amiable and you will notice what you do well more and more. It is a cyclic event. The more you realize that you do things right and well, the more you will see the things you do right and well. The more you see it in yourself, the more others will see it in you as well. And if one must chose to do business between two people; one who cannot look you in the eye and that their mannerisms show a lack of self respect and another who has a warm handshake, a bright and honest smile and a posture of pride; the one with self respect will always win. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without consent." Never give it!


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Self Confidence - A Key to Personal and Business Sucess

Self Confidence is a key part of success in business. It is the difference between having faith in yourself and feeling scared out of your wits. It is about having trust in what you know and your abilities to handle the unexpected events that life puts in your path. It is also a belief that you are the one in control of your life and your goals. It is that unexplainable and untouchable attribute that allows you get in touch with that inner self that allows you to express yourself fully.

The good news is that it is a trait that is strengthened so do not give up if you do not feel you have it at this time. In addition, self confidence varies depending on whether you are doing something for the first time or it is something you know well. It can vary due to environment as well. For example, some people are very confident in one on one presentation while others are confident in front of large groups of people. It won't increase overnight but you can work to build it up to the level of your aspiration.

The first step in building self confidence is giving you permission to not give up no matter what the outcome. The key is, to do your best in any given situation regardless of your knowledge or the end result. When this happens, then each small step of progress increases confidence.

The second key ingredient is to set achievable goals. If you are doing something for the first time, give yourself goals to learn each small step. Do not expect perfection in your first attempt. Progress and not perfection is the attitude that builds confidence. If you must be perfect in your own mind, then even the smallest error becomes disastrous to confidence.

The smallest things can improve confidence. Add a smile when you make a phone call and it will show in your voice, increasing a positive response. Straightening posture when meeting someone or giving a warm and confident handshake even if you are trembling inside returns a positive response. When another person responds in a positive manner, you comfort level increases.

The third ingredient to building up your confidence is based on your physical well being. When we eat right, sleep well and get exercise we then feel better. That sense of physical well being comes out in our work, our voices and even our presentations and productivity. These are all factors to building up a sense of worth. Making eye contact, a simple physical event, will actually convey confidence. So no matter how you feel inside, get those eyes up to those who you are speaking too!

The fourth ingredient is to watch your own self talk. Many individuals erode their own self confidence by the negative self talk and the downplaying of recognition or compliments. Monitor how you talk to yourself. If you find yourself discounting your work, your abilities or any other aspect of yourself, tell yourself "Stop." This word is so ingrained into our psyche that it will momentarily freeze thought. Then replace the thought with something that is positive and opposite of the interrupted thought.

The fifth ingredient to building confidence is to make an achievement list. Make yourself a list of everything you have accomplished no matter how small. We do not give ourselves enough credit for all the things we do right. We could in any given day, do ten things right and still focus on the one thing we have done wrong. Do not let yourself get caught in this trap. It is a self-confidence killer. When you find yourself fixating on an error, review you accomplishments. Then fix the error and move one. Life is too short to spend it beating yourself up for the thing you didn't do right. Pick yourself up... and get going!

Lastly, if you find a subject you need to know but have no confidence in then take a class, read a book or just find a forum and listen to those chatting about it. Knowledge is power! There is no doubt that just knowing what others are speaking of will increase your confidence and social presence. When you don't feel left out, you again, increase your confidence levels. In addition, when you pursue knowledge on a subject to which you have a need or a passion, you gain the experience of uniqueness which will also increase worth.

Making the decision to work on building self confidence could actually affect the success you find and achieve in life. It is an important decision. It is important to be you. Whenever we are put in positions to pretend to be what we are not, we risk our confidence levels. While there is some truth to the 'fake it till you make it' mentality, Life is a much happier journey when you can be who you are and when you can be proud of the skills you have. It is about recognizing your strengths and being able to truly understand that we all have areas of weakness.

If you are an employer or a team leader, remember to recognize the smallest gains from those you supervise. A first sale, a new technique, a first presentation, these critical moments can make or break those you work with. Recognize the strengths of an individual before you point out areas they may want to focus on next. When your team feels confidence, then everyone wins. That is the cool thing about self-confidence. The more it is felt the more there is... it just keeps growing till you have a powerful team that is unstoppable. As a leader, you have nothing to lose in these little recognizable moments and everything to gain. Success and Self-Confidence are intricately twisted about one another, never lose sight of it.

Entrepreneur? - What the Heck is That?

Entrepreneur - a word that is hard to spell and its meaning is tied to business. But what does it really mean? Before becoming one, you need to know what it is. Perhaps you are already one? Are you an entrepreneur?

According to most dictionaries, an entrepreneur is a businessperson who willingly takes a new idea, concept or enterprise. He or She will take on the full responsibility for the outcome. They provide more then capital. Just providing capital would make them an investor, not an entrepreneur. An investor usually will let someone else handle all the day to day business activities.

Any person who invests in a business enterprise and then also runs it can be called an entrepreneur. An entrepreneur is someone who develops a fresh and new product, a new way of manufacturing, or an innovative market. A large number of new ideas, products and ways of creating are developed by entrepreneurs. Often, they are then picked up by bigger companies and mass produced. Smaller companies can devote their ideas to a narrow niche and not have to spend the expense of mass production and advertising. This means more of their resources are spent on being innovative.

Some people just naturally have the spirit of an entrepreneur. You can see it early in life. The way the child problem solves. Usually they are more thinkers and often scheme their brothers, sisters and other relatives into getting them what they want. They set high goals that often seem impossible to those around them as they age but yet they often manage to reach or at least come near to reaching them. However, a person not born with this natural spirit can develop it.

The first key is to set a goal and let nothing stand in your way. A true entrepreneur does not worry if something does not work the first time. They just try another route till they find the way through the maze or difficulty. This means the number one quality that must be developed is to be a bit of a risk taker. Leadership skills can be learned. If one is not creative, linking up to creative people can also be achieved. But the biggest key is to have a goal that is solid in a person's mind that the drive and passion fuels the disappointments and roadblocks.

Though entrepreneurs are known to be risk-takers, they still have to make sure that they are entering a good business. There are thousand of opportunities available in our electronic culture and even in areas of health and wellness. Take the time to study markets. Find one that you believe in.

Becoming an entrepreneur is an exciting and challenging task. Learn what you need to know before moving forward and then do not hesitate to introduce something new to the market. Customers often like to be the first to have the latest idea, concept or product. What are you ideas? Is the area your considering starting in, have a need for your idea? What is your competition? When you have the answers and you are prepared. Step to the edge of the platform and leap! After all, faith in yourself and what you create are more powerful then any static!

Cheryl Matthynssens
cheryl@thebalanceguide.com
Balanced Freedom

Weightloss Energized - Fitness Happens - Are you in the Game?

Written By Drinkact and brought to you by .. ME!

DrinkACT - GAMEON




Whether you are looking for cutting edge products to achieve your personal weight and wellness goals, or if you are looking to build a successful business that suits your lifestyle, the A.C.T.™ Game On™ Weight Management System is for you!

The Problem:
With obesity increasing at an alarming rate worldwide, weight management is at the forefront of the current health care crisis. Excess weight affects people of all ages. 120 Million Americans over the age of 20 are overweight and a staggering 59 Million Americans over the age of 20 are obese! One in five children between the ages of 6 and 11 is overweight.

The medical community reports that excess weight directly affects the health and well-being of millions of Americans. Increased risk factors for conditions such as Cardiovascular Disease, Heart Disease, Liver Disease, Diabetes and Arthritis are directly related to excess weight. Yet, the problem just gets bigger and bigger!

According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), “American society has become ‘obesogenic,’ characterized by environments that promote increased food intake, non-healthful foods, and physical activity. Policy and environmental change initiatives that make healthy choices in nutrition and physical activity available, affordable, and easy will likely prove most effective in combating obesity.” This is the REAL healthcare crisis.

Identify the Problem
An easy way to gauge your health is to compare your current height and weight to the BMI chart. Body Mass Index (BMI) is a number calculated from a person’s weight and height. BMI does not measure body fat directly, but research has shown that BMI correlates to direct measures of body fat.



When Body Mass Index (BMI) exceeds 30%, the relative risk of death related to obesity increases by 50%. ( American Obesity Association)

The Solution:
Let’s face it, your weight is not going to change unless you do something different. The solution starts with a solid commitment to losing weight with the goal to maintain a healthy weight. This commitment is often the hardest part but once you’ve made this important decision to take charge of your life and your health, you are well on your way to improved health and a better quality of life.

We suggest to keep a food diary to help make you aware of what you are eating. Being informed empowers you to make intelligent choices. You don’t have to give up great food to achieve your weight loss and health goals - many great foods are good for you! Avoid heavily processed foods such as potato chips, sugary snacks, fried foods, and soft drinks. Many energy drinks or soft drinks are loaded with refined sugar and caffeine, these simple carbohydrates are terrible for you. Make the decision to eliminate these types of foods from your daily life. Make each food choice a healthy one! Eat fresh, non-processed foods and, replace those daily burger meals and fries with a terrific chicken or Caesar salad. Replace sugar and calorie-laden drinks with healthy drinks. You’ll feel better and you won’t suffer from the dreaded “sugar crash”, which only perpetuates the downward spiral of your health.

Now put one foot in front of the other and get moving, moderate exercise is invigorating and healthful too! 10 to 15 minutes of moderate exercise each day is a great start. Take a walk, ride a bike, make time for yourself and take a pilates or yoga class – it’s good for YOU! Moderate exercise is good for your body and your mind!

Maintaining your healthy weight is like balancing your check book or bank account. You can eat a specific number of calories per day to maintain your weight, exceed this number of calories and you could see your weight increase. To lose weight, consume less calories than this base line number or increase your activity level. Making better food choices and increasing your activity levels are great additions to your new healthy lifestyle.

This Revolutionary System includes:Power Up™ AM Thermogenic Action
This proprietary formula was specifically developed to boost energy and metabolism. Simply take two capsules in the morning and mid morning with at least 8 ounces of purified water to get your morning started and to Power Up your energy and thermogenesis to promote optimal metabolism.

Body Trim™ On-the-Go Weight Management
This natural, great-tasting pink lemonade drink supports and promotes a healthy weight and blood sugar levels with only 20 calories per drink. Body Trim™ comes in convenient “On-the-Go” Slim Pouches. Simply add this amazing drink in place of a mid-morning snack. Great to drink during your workouts too. Body Trim™ is a terrific source of natural soluble fiber as well, helping to satisfy your appetite without adding a lot of calories.

FORMŪLEEN™ Stealth Food Fiber™
A unique and proprietary formula developed exclusively for A.C.T.™ Studies show that most adults are not getting enough soluble fiber in their daily diets. Soluble fiber helps maintain healthy weight, balanced blood sugar levels and healthy digestion. This exciting product has been deemed a “Stealth Food Fiber™” because when added to most foods, FORMŪLEEN™ takes on the taste and texture of those foods. This amazing product has virtually no taste, but can actually accentuate the flavor of your favorite foods. Add FORMŪLEEN™ to hot cereals, soups, salads, meat or pasta dishes, throughout your day. Taken as directed, FORMŪLEEN™ adds an additional 7 grams of high tech Stealth Food Fiber™ to your daily diet.

Shake Down™ Meal Replacement Shake
Finally, a meal replacement protein shake that tastes great! Offered in Chocolate or Vanilla, Shake Down™ was developed to shake down the weight, by reducing the amount of calories you consume. Simply replace one meal, such as lunch or dinner, with a delicious Shake Down™ Meal Replacement Shake and a low calorie drink such as Body Trim™. It’s a simple way to assist in portion control. Shake Down™ contains 35% of the RDI of most essential vitamins and major minerals, while also providing 15 grams of the healthy protein your body needs.

Power Down™ PM Cleansing Formula
A proprietary blend of gentle cleansing herbs that is an integral part of the Game On™ Weight Management System. Many health professionals believe optimal health begins with the digestive system. Power Down™ helps cleanse and purify the body by supporting detoxification of the digestive system. Simply take 1 to 2 capsules before bed with at least 8 ounces of purified water. Power Down™ helps your body cleanse and renew itself as you wind down from your busy day.

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