Its Not About You

Have you ever noticed how people will swear that something is true when they gossip. Or that they give their opinion on your matters but that the opinion is not really based on truth.  Perception is a strange thing.  It filters the truth through a distorted lens.  It is rare that any of us see the truth.

So how do you determine truth.  Truth is the same no matter whose perception it goes through.  The sun will rise in the morning. This is currently our truth.  The body needs food, this is also truth.   Wars are fought over perceived truth, this includes even religious wars.

Being balanced and centered means that you have to filter out the opinions of others.  The opinion of others is not about you. It is their filtered truth of you.  It is not the real you.  If you live right in your heart and do not strike out against your own beliefs,  you are living in truth and are exactly what you were meant to be.  It is only when we live against our beliefs and moral codes that we find hell on Earth.  This is because we live in guilt.  If you do not like your truth, you are the only one that can change it.  If you know you live in harmony with your own moral codes, then you live in truth.  Any one else's opinion at that moment, is not about you. It is their misconceptions of their world.  Do  not let others write the story of your life.  Live true to you and happiness will follow.

Adjust Your Sails

The pessimist complains about the wind;

the optimist expects it to change;

the realist adjusts the sails.

Willaim Arthur Ward

Every day I work with people who either are complaining about life or waiting for life to change.  You do not grow and progress this way and often the winds of life do not accommodate you. 

Ask yourself these questions on any situation you are complaining about:

1.  Do I have any control of it?   If not..  you need to let it go and move on.  Why worry about things you cannot control?

2.  How much control do you have?  Give it a number 10% .. 50%   Really think about it. Identify your areas of control in the situation. 

3.  Withe the __% control you have, are you honestly doing everything you can within that percentage?

4.  If yes.... let it go.. you are already doing what you can... life has to many other things you need to focus on.

     If no... well then.. you have work to do and you don't get to complain because you, yourself, are not doing everything you can.

Apply this formula and life will improve.  I have had people say.. well what if you have a life threatening illness or something else horrrible?   The formula still applies.  Are you doing everything you can within the control you have?  If no, get busy.  If yes, focus your energy where it is important.  If your days on this plane are numbered, them make every single hour count.  Say your I love yous.  Say your I am sorrys.  Offer forgiveness.  Fretting on what you cannot change will not make those last hours precious, only miserable. 

Adjust your sails!! Life is to short to live in misery. 

Just Today...

Just For Today
(and maybe tomorrow)

I was sent this.. I don't know who wrote it.. but Kudos to them. I liked it so am sharing it with you all!

Stand tall.
Start fresh.
Let go of guilt.
Don't look back.
Take an inventory.
Make amends.
Trust others.
Believe in yourself.
Discover God's love.
Appreciate your specialness.
Accept your humanness.
Ask for help.
Trust enough to take.
Have the courage to change.
Accept the unchangeable.
Be patient. Keep promises.
Bury regret. Discard hate.
Transcend self-doubt.
Don't dwell on the past.
Love each moment.
Live each day.
Build a better tomorrow.
Open your heart.
Explore your soul.
Expect the best.
Let miracles happen.
And smile!

Quote of the Day!

“Fantasy is escapist, and that is its glory. If a soldier is imprisioned by the enemy, don't we consider it his duty to escape?. . .If we value the freedom of mind and soul, if we're partisans of liberty, then it's our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as we can!”
― J.R.R. Tolkien

The Monster Under the Bed!

A child’s fear of a monster under the bed or in the closet is exceedingly common.  This fear is also acutely real to the child.  One of the most common mistakes parents make is to tell their child that they should not feel that way or that they are imagining the monster.  This sets up the child to begin to have self doubt.  After all, the person that they trust most is telling them that something they feel is inappropriate.  Feelings once manifested are very real.  That fear is as vivid to your child as the fear one would experience in the presence of a tiger.

The first thing to do is reassure your child and calm them.  This loving response to their fear validates that they are safe and loved.  Often this fear is a result of natural development of the imagination.  Adults have become desensitized to this manifestation of the day, and yet even then we occasionally can experience random nightmares.  This is just developing for your child and is a natural stage.  Offering them comfort and reassurance gives them security that they are safe at night as they move through this developmental stage.  

Relating your own experiences as a child can be helpful.  For Example, let  your child know that when you were little, you also feared the monster under the bed.  By letting your child know you have felt this way, you accept their emotions.  After all, you are still well and whole, and the monster never hurt you.

One way to help your child is to have them describe the monster to you.  What does it look like?  What color is the monster?  Is it a boy monster or a girl monster?  Does it have a name?  If it is a frequent dream, you may even, as part of the calming of the child, let him or her to draw the monster for you.  This refocuses their attention from their fear to this creative expression of their development.   It also allows you to see if there may be a specific trigger that is prompting their fear.  Maybe the monster looks like something from a cartoon you let them watch or something that happened in their day.  It will help you manage the triggers to avoid especially for reoccurring fear.

Do not attempt to scare off the monster.   This validates for the child that the monster is indeed something that must be feared.  Also, do not use it as a behavior management tool.  Threats, such as “if you are not good, that monster under the bed will get you,” will secure your child’s fear and in the long run will cause damage to your child.  One technique, if it is a reoccurring problem, is to tell your child that you know this monster, and it is very nice.   This reassures your child that you believe them but at the same time enforces that they are safe.

It is also possible that your child is not quite ready for solitary sleeping in the dark.  Minimize the impact of his or her sleeping environment.  Are there any toys or objects in the area that can take an ominous shape in the dark?  Consider a night light or leaving the door to the hall open.  Your child will progress through this stage of development, but they may need a little extra support during this time.Cloud B Twilight Ladybug (Google Affiliate Ad)Dream Baby Motion Sensor Led Night-Light (Google Affiliate Ad)

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My mother told this story to me when I was growing up.  I found someone to illustrate it and now it has found a life in print.  I am so excited and wanted to share with everyone.

Reprogram Your Brain

One of the first things I learned when I was working my direct marketing business was that I am my own worst enemy. It is not the recession or my product line that sabotages my business, it is me; first my thinking and then my habits. In a society where the media makes its income mostly on bad news and a world that competes, many of us have no idea that we are constantly inputting negativity into our lives.

The Brain is an amazing organ. In my research to find out why so many people seem to sabotage the very success they are about to reach; I ran across the comparison that the brain is like a smart bomb. A smart bomb is given a target and then as wind and resistance take it off target, it self corrects to hit its target. The difference is, the subconscious takes for truth what it hears the most.

The conscious mind can set a 1000 goals but if the daily thoughts are negative; the subconscious mind will self-correct. Just like that smart bomb, it will hit the real target believed. For example, the goal may be 100k income online a year. But if there is that little voice saying "I always fail" or "I don't deserve success" you will NEVER hit the goal. You will self sabotage your successes every time. So what do you do? You change how you think.

Affirmations are the way that one can reprogram the brain. Napoleon Hill wrote, "When you deliberately feed your mind with good, wholesome thoughts and information, and keep your proper frame of mind, you are supplying the subconscious mind with nourishing material to feedback to you. You condition your mind's output by the input you give it."

To use this skill, you pick the qualities you need to have in life. Start with the most important one you wish to have. Let us say that it is organization. "I am an organized person." Say this to yourself for one week as you look in any mirror. The more times you say it, the more that "smart bomb" is programmed to the new target - organization. Then second week, add the next skill or quality you wish to have. "I am a motivated and enthusiastic person." Keep adding one every week till you have all that you wrote down memorized. Remember, you MUST word them as if you have already acquired them. Then just keep saying them daily. The brain will make this your reality. Think that this is to easy to be worth anything? Almost every motivational speaker out there teaches affirmations. People pay 100's of dollars to "get motivated" but they never apply it.

Zig Ziglar wrote, "Are you willing to commit yourself to invest fifteen minutes every day for immediate results and long-term benefits?" Seriously, are you? The simplest thing you can do to reach your goals and most of us won't take the five, ten or fifteen minutes it would take to do so. This article, for most of you, is not new information. Yet, despite it's proven success rate; despite speaker after speaker and writer after writer telling us this is how they succeed, we do not follow suit.

When this finally hit me, I sat back stunned. On my shelf are 100's of dollars in self help books, seriously. And this investment is not counting all the times I have gone to motivational seminars. Yet despite this money invested, I had not invested the one thing that cost me nothing, my time. I am telling you. This works. Do not keep seeking the secrets to change. I just gave it too you.

Don't Feed Your Monsters

The Last Self-help Book You'll Ever Need By Pearsall, Paul (Google Affiliate Ad)

It is the oddest thing about human beings. We will do exactly what we know is bad for us. The addict will stick the needle in his arm one more time as he curses the very drug that he is craving. The overweight dieter will bemoan the box of donuts they just finished eating. How many times do those who know they struggle to tell others no, put themselves into situations to do just that. Those that struggle with constraining their anger will add elements to their day to create the very thing they 'say' they are trying to avoid.

The truth is, if we understood what wonderful beings we really were, we wouldn't do these things to ourselves. Very few of us would buy a sweet fast running vehicle and fill it with cheap gas. Yet we think nothing of destroying the one thing most precious to us, the body and mind that houses us. We fill it with foods created by those seeking profits that add nothing of value to our bodies. We smoke things we know will kill us. We add things to alter the states of our mind through alcohol and drugs.

You know what real happiness is? When you can live in your body without having to alter its state of being and be truly happy within your own skin. That is happiness. We can add so much more well being to our life, just by eating things made by nature.. and not by man. No, I am not saying don't eat meat. That is a natural substance of our world. However, you might want to think twice about all the chemicals in that Twinkie or Monster.

So how do we get there? How do you get to a place where you are content with who you are. Well first, if you do not like who you are.. change it. Don't say some day I will... do it now. Quit reading books and not applying what you learn. Quit reading others blogs (grin) but apply what you learn and work on you! Quit eating donuts, and other things bad for you. Go to treatment if you have an addiction. People do not fail in this process because they do not have enough information. They fail because they don't apply the information, resources and tools to their own lives that they have gathered.

My grandmother always said. "God does not make junk." I never really understood why she was always telling me this to recently. I looked in the mirror and I saw someone worth looking at. It hit me, she had been trying to tell me all along that I was as good as anyone else. God had not made junk. The more I realize that God dwells in each and every one of us, the more my grandmother's lessons drive home. She was always saying, "your body is the temple of god." I always thought that meant that if I wanted God in me.. I had to have this perfect body. Since I have yet to acquire that, do to personal weakness, there was always a part of me that thought God was not with me. I had no idea he had always been there and she was trying to tell me to get some paint, clean the carpets and I might want to wash those windows.

The truth is, what ever is making you miserable in life, stop doing it! Don't like your job, get a different one. No, don't quit the one you have in this uncertain economic time, look for a job. However, there are many ways in life that we make ourselves miserable and then we just keep doing those things.  Point of this article- stop it and do what makes you happy!