The Price of Happiness

In our society today, we put price tags on happiness.  If I can afford this.. if only I had that. I would be happy.  And if that were true, happiness would be such an easy thing to find.  But the truth is, once we have the 'one thing' we have been coveting, (if we ever get it) we just choose something else we now have to have. 

In America, teenagers talk about that first car.  Oh yeah, the show room model would be nice but most teenagers get excited if it is theirs and it drives.  But soon, that is not enough and the competition begins to have one cooler then Joe.  Then it has to have the latest rims to be happy. The cranking pounding stereo has to be found to be happy.  Yet, this never truly lasts.

Today, I was reminded of this lesson on a simple ski slope.  Our daughter had never been skiing or snowboarding.  A local ski business had a special where you could go up and for $58.00 get a lesson and equipment, everything you needed to try it for the first time.  It was her Christmas present.  I fretted the whole time I was wrapping it up. What if she hates snowboarding? What if she breaks something?  And mentally, the price tag just kept going up. 

We got to that mountain and with great excitement she got her snowboard and boots and headed off to her class. I sat down on a bench on a beautiful snowy Sunday Morning and marveled.  It didn't last long. Twenty minutes into the lesson, I noticed my daughter sitting out of the class.  My heart sank.  Every fear hammered home.  $58.00 wasted for twenty minutes of lessons and her giving up.  The whole time I was waiting to join her, I was mentally seething at the cost and loss of money for something that she didn't even finish.  I joined her on the bench and looked into her eyes.  I didn't see the 58.00 wasted dollars.  I saw a life time of expectation crashing down in on her as her fondest desire had become a nightmare.  She couldn't stand in the boots required for snowboarding without pain in her ankle that she had injured.  "Let's just go home mom." I could hear the heart rending pain as it ripped through me.  I looked back out at that mountain for a long moment. 

I patted her on the head and told her to wait there.  I went into the ski school and talked to the instructors.  They were extremely sorrowed to hear that she was giving up.  They made a wonderous offer.  If she would reoutfit into a ski set up, they would set her up with a private instructor.   I girded up for the battle and headed back to Johanna.  It took a little maternal browbeating but we got her back into gear.  They sent over to her the nicest man and he took her by the hand and led her back out onto that mountain.   Her ankle was still giving her troubles and she struggled and fell but she didn't give up. 

The price of happiness was not a $58.00 dollar package.  The price of happiness was a little perseverance.  It sank home as she successfully made it up the rope tow for the first time. That smile was the same smile I saw when she walked the first time, rode a bike the first time, stopped her first soccer goal.  The price of happiness is the smile you give to another because you don't give up on them and  you don't let them give up either. 

Remember or Dwell

It is an amazing thing our mind.  It records everything.. but we only recall with regularlity that which has some kind of an emotional attachment. Unfortunately, that does not have to be a positive thing.  We can attach negative emotions.

Remembering where we have been is an important aspect. It is how we learn.  It is how we avoid repeating past mistakes.  Unfortunately, for many of us, rather then using this tool our mind gives us, we begin to dwell.

What is the difference?
Dwelling is allowing a negative memory to take root and take over.  Rather then moving forward with the lesson learned, we are suddenly angered in the past.  We rehash it over and over and over. We relive that pain and hurt again and again. To what end?? The truth is kind of scary. Because at some level we have become to believe we deserve it.  Only when we realize that we should only have to pay for errors one time, do we stop this hurtful pattern of self abuse.

Dwelling can become so powerful that it can create stress caused illnesses and depression.  Ulcers, heart disease, high blood pressure and many other ailments have been tied to staying in an increased stress state.  And the worst part is, most of us do this to ourselves.

How do I stop this?
 There are two major tools one can use.  First, the old cliche .. Let go and Let God.  The second thing is refuse to allow negativity to control your thinking.  The one thing that is almost possible to take away from man is his thoughts. You may lock away his body and still his mind is his own.  Even under the influence of the disease of addiction, there is still influence on thought.  When you catch yourself thinking in a negative manner; tell yourself .. STOP!  We are trained this word from a very  young age.   It will startle the mind for a brief moment. Then pick up something postive; a story, affirmations or a thank you letter.  Anything that has hope, peace or love within it.  This change in thinking will force the mind slowly to let go of the negative things in our past and move towards acceptance.


Remember.. do not dwell.  There is freedom to move forward with the assurance of not repeating a past mistake.

Make Today. .. just a little better then yesterday and your future will always be moving forward.

God Bless