Remember or Dwell

It is an amazing thing our mind.  It records everything.. but we only recall with regularlity that which has some kind of an emotional attachment. Unfortunately, that does not have to be a positive thing.  We can attach negative emotions.

Remembering where we have been is an important aspect. It is how we learn.  It is how we avoid repeating past mistakes.  Unfortunately, for many of us, rather then using this tool our mind gives us, we begin to dwell.

What is the difference?
Dwelling is allowing a negative memory to take root and take over.  Rather then moving forward with the lesson learned, we are suddenly angered in the past.  We rehash it over and over and over. We relive that pain and hurt again and again. To what end?? The truth is kind of scary. Because at some level we have become to believe we deserve it.  Only when we realize that we should only have to pay for errors one time, do we stop this hurtful pattern of self abuse.

Dwelling can become so powerful that it can create stress caused illnesses and depression.  Ulcers, heart disease, high blood pressure and many other ailments have been tied to staying in an increased stress state.  And the worst part is, most of us do this to ourselves.

How do I stop this?
 There are two major tools one can use.  First, the old cliche .. Let go and Let God.  The second thing is refuse to allow negativity to control your thinking.  The one thing that is almost possible to take away from man is his thoughts. You may lock away his body and still his mind is his own.  Even under the influence of the disease of addiction, there is still influence on thought.  When you catch yourself thinking in a negative manner; tell yourself .. STOP!  We are trained this word from a very  young age.   It will startle the mind for a brief moment. Then pick up something postive; a story, affirmations or a thank you letter.  Anything that has hope, peace or love within it.  This change in thinking will force the mind slowly to let go of the negative things in our past and move towards acceptance.


Remember.. do not dwell.  There is freedom to move forward with the assurance of not repeating a past mistake.

Make Today. .. just a little better then yesterday and your future will always be moving forward.

God Bless

Higher Power - A Force That Moves Even When You Are Not Paying Attention

Regardless of what you have identified as your higher power, if you remain open to it, you can be amazed at the answers and guidance you can find. Some people only use that small quiet voice within as a higher power; others have identified a specific spiritual power. It doesn't matter who or what; what matters is that you remain open to it.

I recently had a real life example of this spiritual force at work. I was not looking for work and was enjoying both my brick and mortar job and my two online businesses. I was doing counseling work with inmates in a medium security prison which I loved. I had helped build the program and was able to see day to day changes in people's lives and families. Online, I was enjoying my combination business which is both face to face and internet and my straight internet work with http://drinkact.tv/cherylmatthynssens and http://EZWealthSolution.com/home.php?balanceguide One day as I was cleaning my email, I saw an email I almost deleted not recognizing the name or subject but something about it made me check it. It was a request to apply for a position in a little town across the state. Curious, I emailed them back for information. Mostly, I was curious as to how in the heck they even knew who I was.

I went for an interview, still curious. I really did not need the job. Things were going well for me financially and personally. I was well liked in my job and had the satisfication of watching something I had helped create within the prison I was employed at work wonders in lives. The position was in a somewhat isolated county. It was small, rustic and warm. It was barren geographically compared to the lush green coastal area I was used to enjoying. But for some reason, I fell in love with it and.......
was not chosen for the position. Where I had not sought the position in the first place, I chuckled and went back to my life, unaware that my higher power had other plans for me.

Four days before Christmas, I received a call that the original hire had not worked out, would I come for another interview on the 22nd of December? Surprised but again curious, off I went and this time I took my 21 year old son for the six hour journey to the remote center. It was a great time. My son saw a frozen river for the first time and made jokes that he was not moving with me if I moved, he was not living any where that a running body of water freezes. (this will become relevant soon) After I left, I had decided I would not take the job. I mean, why move off into the wilds and it would even mean a cut in pay. When I got the call offering the position, it was a warm and friendly call with three individuals. I found myself agreeing to take the job. I sat down afterwards and for a brief moment, wondered what in the heck I had just done.

My family has lived in the county I would be leaving since I was five. I had left it for brief forays into the world such as college but had always returned. My children were raised there and two were still at home and going to school I would be wandering off all by myself? After a few moments of "what in the heck did I just do.." I felt this strange sense that everything would be all right. For me, this is where the story gets a little wierd and it was only after looking back that I could see that my higher power had been at work all along.

My employer was horrified when I gave notice. I had been by her side the whole time. My co-workers were stunned. I had always been there and it was believed I would be there till I either burned out or retired. My family was even more stunned.

I began to look for a place to live by phone due to the six hour drive. Much to my horror, there were no places that were within my price range. I looked for a place to rent, but no one wanted my chihauha in their place. I had resigned myself to renting a motel by the week type room until I could find something face to face. On a whim, I called one place that had been listed the first time I interviewed and that was still in the paper. It was larger then I wanted, I really did not need that many bedrooms. However, I was getting desperate. I called it many times but never got a call back. Finally, I got lucky and someone finally answered.

As expected, the owner said "no pets." Frustrated, I asked for any referral. She listened to my tale and then asked where I would work. She took my number and about fifteen minutes later, she called me back and said I could have the place. I could have my dog.. .no pet deposit. Puzzled, I asked her why she had changed her mind. Turns out.... she would be in a referring agency and we would work together on those referrals. Her house had been sitting empty, and she had not been inclined to call any of the applicants back due to the damage done to the home from the last renters. A shiver went down my spine.

It just continued on and on until today. It snowed heavily before I moved, making me fear the trip with a u-haul across mountain passes. Yet the roads were amazingly dry and smooth for the six hour drive. The house turned out to be only a few miles from work in a quiet area. And then came the news that sealed it as a higher power movement. My 21 year old son calls me. This was what he said. "Mom, I met this girl that I really really like. I think this is the one. Here is the thing, she lives in (town I was going to work in). Is your place large enough that I can move with you and go to college there?" I sat down. The only place I had called with enough bedrooms was the one I had amazingly managed to secure. I, of course, said yes and then made sure to spend a great deal of time teasing him about love and a place where moving water freezes.

Oh, and the pay cut, it was only on paper. Turns out the benefits package was so much better that I didn't even notice the difference in my deposited check. There are many other small and strange factors that add to this experience for me. Probably the most significant was when I stepped into my office (which was not a renovated cell for the first time) I felt like I had come home.

The reason I relayed this story to you is that I could have shut down this strange series of events at any time. However, I remained open to internal guidance and opportunity. I did not allow the many fears I felt at any given time take over in my decision making. Our higher powers, regardless of whether it is more minds then one or a divine being; are offering us the answers we need every day, week and month. The problem is, we often are not listening. Or.. if we don't like the answer, we will shut down the response as "not an answer." The biggest reason we don't listen... we fear the answer. Our lives are filled with opportunities if we do not remains so focused on the problem that we cannot hear it. So remain open to new ideas no matter their source. Your higher power may even send you a strange ... curious email... I know mine did for me!

Spiritual Growth: the Spiritual Challenge of Modern Times

More on Spirituality


To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern conveniences such as electronic equipments, gadgets, and tools as well as entertainment through television, magazines, and the web have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?

To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals, on the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard. Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation. Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

To grow spiritually is to develop your potentials.

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual. Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Christian (Western) and Islamic (Eastern) teachings. The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing one’s full potential is to self-actualize. Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, ba sense of belonging, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence. James earlier categorized these needs into three: material, emotional, and spiritual. When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual. Perhaps the difference between these two religions and psychology is the end of self-development: Christianity and Islam see that self-development is a means toward serving God, while psychology view that self-development is an end by itself.

To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christianity, Judaism, and Islam suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives. Whether we believe that life’s meaning is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm. Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to---a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.

To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus we call other people “brothers and sisters” even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity-centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory. This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and non-living things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow. Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

Growth is a process thus to grow in spirit is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, further spiritual growth is made possible.