Time For White Elephant Parties!

The practice of White Elephant Gifts actually started long ago. White Elephants were considered very sacred and therefore were protected. Emperors, therefore, made a practice of giving these elephants to nobles that had displeased them. Due to the laws protecting these rare and beautiful animals, the noble could not kill it, give it away or sell it. To refuse the gift would be to insult their Emperor. They were stuck with a symbol of disfavor that they must protect, feed and give precious care to. A rich noble who found himself in such disfavor would have to quickly move to replace favor for if the Emperor found more then one of these rare Elephants, the noble could find himself quickly without the riches he had enjoyed in an attempt to feed the appetites of more then one such gift.

Today, this practice in the office place and at differing social gathering has come to mean a series of gag gifts or a gift with a small expense. It is designed to bring a smile or a laugh to the recipient. Office places often go with white elephant gift exchanges to keep up moral and to prevent one person from getting something exceedingly expensive and another something someone regifted and didn't want.

I went and found my favorite twenty white elephant gifts and I also put up some party ideas!

To see the list - go here and vote for your favorite

Do Not Chase Happiness for You Will Never Catch It

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.

- Henry David Thoreau

It is amazing to me how we lose sight of gratitude in our haste and search for more. So many in our world have put price tags or destinations on 'happiness'. Happiness will not be achieved when I get______________ or have _________ in the bank. This can be seen by the many who have such things and are miserable to the point of even suicide.

Happiness is a state of mind. Whether we want to admit it or not, we can achieve happiness at any moment if we but set our minds to it. All you have to do is take a moment and remember moments that brought you a smile. Make a gratitude list for all the things you have right now.

In school, a well provided student asked a group of us why the old man on the corner with the hot dog cart was always so happy. In her perspective, since he did not have the house, the car and the lifestyle she enjoyed, he could not possibly be happy. We talked her into asking him, how he always had a smile. He told us a story that still brings tears to my eyes. This wonderful man who sold hotdogs spoke of a war that few of us had first had a first had awareness. He told of a beautiful wife that still graced his home. He spoke of a daughter that had survived cancer. He then talked of how he had nearly died from a heart attack and he was thankful that the good Lord was given him another day to hold his wife. Needless to say, his story was far better told and much more heart rendering from his lips. I still smile at his final words. "Best of all, I get to stand and chat with pretty young things like you all day and get paid to do it." We all bought a hotdog with a smile and a bit of reflection on how much we take life for granted.

If you are chasing happiness, STOP, you will never catch it. You already have everything you need in your possession. Refocus on what you have and not on what you have yet to acquire. Would the journey for more then be about just adding to the joy you already have in your life. Whether it is marriage, business, relationships or even possessions, the grass is rarely greener on the other side. We have just lost site of the preciousness on our side of the fence. In this month of Gratitude, reflect and find the very thing you have been chasing - Happiness!



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Thanksgiving Folklore Has Becomes Historical Fact

It is said that history is often told by the winners and it would be a far different tale if told by the losers.


This is the case with our tradition of Thanksgiving. The truth is, both the Native People and the English had been having different sorts of feasts and times of thanks for many years prior to the event that children for years have been reinacting in elementary schools across the United States. In Canada, it is actually celebrated in October. The truth is, no one knows for sure when the actual feast took place.

If one wanted to get very particular, the first thanksgiving was actually December, 4, 1619. The Engish settlers at Berkeley Plantation on the James River (Now Charles City, VA)were required to celebrate the day of arrival in Thanksgiving to God.

Regardless of the many myths listed below, the concept of Thanksgiving is an important one! We must never lose sight of a tradition that crosses cultures around the world and throughout time. Taking time to be grateful for what we have and not focusing on what we do not is important regardless of nationality or religious persuasion. For many cultures, it is a time after harvest to gather together and celebrate the abundance that they have been blessed with. It is also a chance after many hours and weeks spent on cultivating crops, to take a break, to share stories and break bread with family that cannot always be together.



Myths and Facts
Do you know your REAL thanksgiving history?

Myth #1: The First Thanksgiving" occurred in 1621.

Fact: The Native Americans and the English had both been having giveaways, feasts of thanks and celebration for many years before the two cultures met. There is evidence that a feast of thanks was in place in England where a goose was used as the main dish. The turkey was more readily available in the New World.

The first feast was more political and neither side was giving thanks. In actuality, the first Thanksgiving occurred when Captain John Woodlief thankfully led the newly-arrived English colonists to a grassy slope along the James River and instructed them to drop to their knees and pray in thanks for a safe arrival to the New World. It was December 4, 1619, and 38 men from Berkeley Parish in England vowed:

"Wee ordaine that the day of our ships arrivall at the place assigned for plantacon in the land of Virginia shall be yearly and perpetually keept holy as a day of Thanksgiving to Almighty God."

Myth #2: The Pilgrims found corn.

Fact: Well, they stole it. There are accounts where they went into Native dwellings and stole from their houses and stock piles. In addition, there is also writing that disclose that they robbed Native graves. While there is record of these thefts, there is no record of any restitution.

Myth #3 The Pilgrims invited the Indians to celebrate the First Thanksgiving.

Fact: The Natives heard the shots of the hunting parties and thought they were preparing for war. In truth, Massasoit showed up with 90 men and no women at the feast ready to do battle. Only when they realized what was occuring did they go out and bring back five deer and wild fowl to add to the feast.

In truth, neither side trusted the other. The English saw the Wampanoag as soulless heathens and the Wampanoag saw the English as thieves and grave robbers.

Myth #4 Pilgrims wore black and white

Fact: There is some truth to this.. on Sundays. At this time, black dye was difficult and expensive. Black clothing was saved for funerals, paintings and Sundays. According the the manifest on the Mayflower, they actually wore hues of blue, green, yellow and red. These colors were much easier to manufacture from the available roots.

Myth #5 The Pilgrims and Indians feasted on turkey, potatoes, berries, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and popcorn.

Fact: Written and oral tradition show that the meal actually included venison, wild fowl, and quite possibly nasaump-dried corn pounded and boiled into a thick porridge, and pompion-cooked, mashed pumpkin. Potatoes and sweet potatoes had not made it that far north at this time. Cranberries would have been too tart to eat without sugar to sweeten them, and the corn of the time could not be successfully popped, there was no popcorn.

You can find more myths and facts at: http://www.oyate.org/resources/shortthanks.html

An Open Mind is Critical to Your Personal Balance and Stress Management!

No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.
- Anonymous


It is amazing how in the human race we need others in our lives to some capacity but are still quick to tribe up. What I mean by that is, we will create a small circle of influence and then stick to it no matter if we have outgrown it or even if we find out later that it harms us.

I see this a lot with those that I work with who are from street gangs. They want a better life. They have matured enough to know that this street life will not allow them to reach a single positive goal they want to set for themselves. However, the loyalty built to that "tribe" gang is so strong that often they cannot walk away. In some instances, that circle itself will threaten if a member tries to move away in a pro-social setting. This is just one example of how the human race has not evolved much despite all the technological advancements we have made.

Do not think that this is any different in the corporate world. Stand back outside of a large corporate environment and you will see many smaller groups that have formed for mutual advancement and protection. Let one person try to rise up and move to a higher group, because either he has the capacity or has outgrown the need for the group he is in, and the back stabbing will start. They do not use guns or knives to eliminate the upstart that dares to defy the group mentality, instead they use malicious words, gossip and false accusations. It is the same behavior but with a different weapon. In some ways, a more deadly one because the individual cannot always tell who is gunning for him. At least in a gang, he has a good idea!

The truth is, we as humans all need to grow and realize that no one is really our enemy. There are people that live and think the way we do. There are people who do not. It does not lessen us or them if they live different, think differently or dare to go outside the societal norm. Almost every great achievement in history has required someone to go outside the societal norm. Often, they are outcasts of the very circle that gave birth to their greatness because people fear change. Others will rally around them in hopes that their vision can be brought to fruition. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi are examples of challenging the societal norm.

When we can begin, especially in business, to look at people for what they can teach us, then we can really rise above the petty tribal squabbles of those who stopped growing. Some people will teach you what NOT to do or how NOT to be. Some people will be your mentors. Sometimes, you will excel beyond your mentors and need to develop new ones. This does not devalue your mentor so do not be afraid to keep them in your circle of influence as a friend or someone of value to your growth. Instead just add to your circle a new mentor.

A mentor should be someone that exhibits something that you want. It could be a way of communicating. It could be their values that led them to success. It may be a simple thing such as a peaceful aura even in stressful times that you wish you had. You can have mentors for each thing that you wish to harvest.

As I reread the quote I started with. I cannot think but that it was a very wise person that must have said it. When we in business can truly understand the meaning of those words, we cannot help but to find success.

Addiction - Don't Let It Steal Your Success!

Addiction is one of the greatest and most costly public health problems in the United States. While all this publicity is going on for the H1N1 Virus, people are dying from a disease far more prevalent in our country. Addiction is the physical or mental dependence on a behavior or a substance. To take that a step further, dependence means that despite the harm it is causing in their lives, they are powerless to stop. It is not limited to drugs and alcohol. There are behaviors that can activate the reward system in the brain. This activation of the Dopaminergic system has the same effect as if someone uses Cocaine or Amphetamines.

Because of the similarities in response from the reward system of the brain, many addicts who are successfully able to quit illegal drug use or stop the use of alcohol will find themselves replacing the drug with behaviors such a sex, gambling, compulsive shopping, excessive exercise video games or even web surfing. Again, the definition of it being an addiction is when it brings harm to themselves or their lives.

Addictions to substances such as alcohol, illegal and prescribed drugs, tobacco and food bring with them other potential areas for harm. Many types of Cancer, Diabetes, liver diseases and life threatening interactions can result from a single use and from prolonged use. The problem becomes perplex due to the system of denial that protects the addict from seeing the harm he/she is causing to others and/or themselves. Add to this that most addictions come on slowly; it is difficult to accept that one needs help.

Help does exist. First and foremost, treatment is available for most any addiction that you might be battling. If you are a friend with an alcoholic or drug addict, most cities have intervention counselors to help you confront the addict and help them to see they are in trouble. You need treatment with the support of people who are struggling with the same addiction and from professionals who understand it. If you don't feel ready for this step, read on.

The next step is to begin Recovery. Once you are an addict, you will always be an addict. But just like a diabetic can control their disease, you can learn to control yours. It is learning about how to tolerate how you feel at any given moment and not have to participate in self destructive or self defeating behaviors and thoughts. It is realizing we didn't get to the place we need recovery overnight so we won't travel to a place of healthy life and wellbeing overnight either. One has to relearn how to have fun without the use of the addictive behavior or substance. It is about learning how to live life... on life's terms.

The next thing is to get involved with support groups. There are tons of support groups out there from spiritually based or church group ones all the way to the original Alcoholics Anonymous. There are groups for sex addicts and food addicts. There is no reason not to have a support group. There are even CODA groups for those that are co-dependent. Which means living with an addict and struggling not to make things easy for them?

Here are some resources for support groups:
http://www.na.org (narcotics anonymous)
http://www.aa.org (alcoholics anonymous)
http://www.codependents.org (codependents anonymous)
http://12step.org (twelve steps to serenity)
Free 24 Hour Addiction Help Line ~ 888-691-3919

You can also check with your church for more spiritual based programs.

If you do not feel like you are ready for this step where others are involved or if you are not sure your loved one needs an intervention, there is an eBook you can get to evaluate and also to get some tools on your own.

Learn about alcoholic tendencies!
Acquire various treatment options!
Learn how to help a friend or family member who is alcoholic!
Learn about drug addiction and methods to deal with it!
Learn alternative methods to the AA approach!
And much, much more!

Remember above all things... seek balance in life. Learn to be happy in your own skin and you will soon find that you do not need to alter your reality!

Have a prosperous day!
Cheryl
http://drinkact.tv/cherylmathynssens

Self Respect Can Be Learned!

According to Merriam-Webster, self respect is defined as: 1: a proper respect for oneself as a human being and 2: regard for one's own standing or position. But what does proper respect of one's self really mean? It is the looking in the mirror and seeing someone of value. It is believing that you are as good as anyone else. E.E. Cummings wrote, "We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit."

Self Respect is not ignoring the fact that you have faults as a person. It is accepting that you have them and loving yourself despite them. It is knowing that making a mistake or failing at something does not define who we are inside. Many people think that it can be measured by the acts that they do, but self respect is about whom you are and not what you do on the outside. It is not about how we measure up to the person next to us. Our society of competition pushes people to be at their best and if they have strong self respect then they can weather the times when they do not come in first. However, for many it is a killer of both self esteem and self respect because there can only be so many winners in a competitive environment.

So how do we increase self respect? First, listen to how you talk to yourself! Carla Gordon is quoted as saying "If someone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would have left them long ago." This is so true. The kindest of people to others often is rarely kind to themselves. It is estimated that over 70% of what we say to ourselves is negative. If you put yourself down that much, you cannot help but have little respect for yourself. So, the first step, speak to yourself as you would want others to speak to you.

The next thing you can do is stick to your values. When we lie but have the value of honesty or when we hold resentments yet hold a value to be forgiving, we tear at the very fabric of our values. Every time you act in a manner that is support of what you believe, you increase your respect of self. We will focus on all the reasons we are 'bad' or 'not worthy' which adds to our negative self talk. But when we act in a manner that makes us smile or feel a sense of pride, we walk a little taller and with a little more pep.

One other thing that you can do is to treat others in the manner you wish to be treated. I know, the golden rule has been preached and preached. But face it, the reason that this saying has held throughout the years is that it is a basic truth. In regards to self-respect, when you treat others with respect, most will treat you back in the same way. This raises your value in your own eyes. Forgive others when they make mistakes and then forgive yourself when you make them. This simple thing is so powerful. It leads to the belief that you are exactly what you are meant to be, a constantly improving member of your community that has value and worth.

The last thing is to stand up for you. Hold to your boundaries and your beliefs, but do so with respect. Agree to disagree if you must for the sake of relationships but do not sacrifice your beliefs. Whenever you allow someone to compromise your boundaries and values, you not only lower yourself in their eyes, but yours as well. Believe that you deserve to have an opinion, happiness and success.

If you work to develop your self-respect, you will find that your relationships will improve. Those you work with and for will seem more amiable and you will notice what you do well more and more. It is a cyclic event. The more you realize that you do things right and well, the more you will see the things you do right and well. The more you see it in yourself, the more others will see it in you as well. And if one must chose to do business between two people; one who cannot look you in the eye and that their mannerisms show a lack of self respect and another who has a warm handshake, a bright and honest smile and a posture of pride; the one with self respect will always win. Remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said, "No one can make you feel inferior without consent." Never give it!


Join my team today!
DrinkACT

Self Confidence - A Key to Personal and Business Sucess

Self Confidence is a key part of success in business. It is the difference between having faith in yourself and feeling scared out of your wits. It is about having trust in what you know and your abilities to handle the unexpected events that life puts in your path. It is also a belief that you are the one in control of your life and your goals. It is that unexplainable and untouchable attribute that allows you get in touch with that inner self that allows you to express yourself fully.

The good news is that it is a trait that is strengthened so do not give up if you do not feel you have it at this time. In addition, self confidence varies depending on whether you are doing something for the first time or it is something you know well. It can vary due to environment as well. For example, some people are very confident in one on one presentation while others are confident in front of large groups of people. It won't increase overnight but you can work to build it up to the level of your aspiration.

The first step in building self confidence is giving you permission to not give up no matter what the outcome. The key is, to do your best in any given situation regardless of your knowledge or the end result. When this happens, then each small step of progress increases confidence.

The second key ingredient is to set achievable goals. If you are doing something for the first time, give yourself goals to learn each small step. Do not expect perfection in your first attempt. Progress and not perfection is the attitude that builds confidence. If you must be perfect in your own mind, then even the smallest error becomes disastrous to confidence.

The smallest things can improve confidence. Add a smile when you make a phone call and it will show in your voice, increasing a positive response. Straightening posture when meeting someone or giving a warm and confident handshake even if you are trembling inside returns a positive response. When another person responds in a positive manner, you comfort level increases.

The third ingredient to building up your confidence is based on your physical well being. When we eat right, sleep well and get exercise we then feel better. That sense of physical well being comes out in our work, our voices and even our presentations and productivity. These are all factors to building up a sense of worth. Making eye contact, a simple physical event, will actually convey confidence. So no matter how you feel inside, get those eyes up to those who you are speaking too!

The fourth ingredient is to watch your own self talk. Many individuals erode their own self confidence by the negative self talk and the downplaying of recognition or compliments. Monitor how you talk to yourself. If you find yourself discounting your work, your abilities or any other aspect of yourself, tell yourself "Stop." This word is so ingrained into our psyche that it will momentarily freeze thought. Then replace the thought with something that is positive and opposite of the interrupted thought.

The fifth ingredient to building confidence is to make an achievement list. Make yourself a list of everything you have accomplished no matter how small. We do not give ourselves enough credit for all the things we do right. We could in any given day, do ten things right and still focus on the one thing we have done wrong. Do not let yourself get caught in this trap. It is a self-confidence killer. When you find yourself fixating on an error, review you accomplishments. Then fix the error and move one. Life is too short to spend it beating yourself up for the thing you didn't do right. Pick yourself up... and get going!

Lastly, if you find a subject you need to know but have no confidence in then take a class, read a book or just find a forum and listen to those chatting about it. Knowledge is power! There is no doubt that just knowing what others are speaking of will increase your confidence and social presence. When you don't feel left out, you again, increase your confidence levels. In addition, when you pursue knowledge on a subject to which you have a need or a passion, you gain the experience of uniqueness which will also increase worth.

Making the decision to work on building self confidence could actually affect the success you find and achieve in life. It is an important decision. It is important to be you. Whenever we are put in positions to pretend to be what we are not, we risk our confidence levels. While there is some truth to the 'fake it till you make it' mentality, Life is a much happier journey when you can be who you are and when you can be proud of the skills you have. It is about recognizing your strengths and being able to truly understand that we all have areas of weakness.

If you are an employer or a team leader, remember to recognize the smallest gains from those you supervise. A first sale, a new technique, a first presentation, these critical moments can make or break those you work with. Recognize the strengths of an individual before you point out areas they may want to focus on next. When your team feels confidence, then everyone wins. That is the cool thing about self-confidence. The more it is felt the more there is... it just keeps growing till you have a powerful team that is unstoppable. As a leader, you have nothing to lose in these little recognizable moments and everything to gain. Success and Self-Confidence are intricately twisted about one another, never lose sight of it.