Don't Feed Your Monsters

The Last Self-help Book You'll Ever Need By Pearsall, Paul (Google Affiliate Ad)

It is the oddest thing about human beings. We will do exactly what we know is bad for us. The addict will stick the needle in his arm one more time as he curses the very drug that he is craving. The overweight dieter will bemoan the box of donuts they just finished eating. How many times do those who know they struggle to tell others no, put themselves into situations to do just that. Those that struggle with constraining their anger will add elements to their day to create the very thing they 'say' they are trying to avoid.

The truth is, if we understood what wonderful beings we really were, we wouldn't do these things to ourselves. Very few of us would buy a sweet fast running vehicle and fill it with cheap gas. Yet we think nothing of destroying the one thing most precious to us, the body and mind that houses us. We fill it with foods created by those seeking profits that add nothing of value to our bodies. We smoke things we know will kill us. We add things to alter the states of our mind through alcohol and drugs.

You know what real happiness is? When you can live in your body without having to alter its state of being and be truly happy within your own skin. That is happiness. We can add so much more well being to our life, just by eating things made by nature.. and not by man. No, I am not saying don't eat meat. That is a natural substance of our world. However, you might want to think twice about all the chemicals in that Twinkie or Monster.

So how do we get there? How do you get to a place where you are content with who you are. Well first, if you do not like who you are.. change it. Don't say some day I will... do it now. Quit reading books and not applying what you learn. Quit reading others blogs (grin) but apply what you learn and work on you! Quit eating donuts, and other things bad for you. Go to treatment if you have an addiction. People do not fail in this process because they do not have enough information. They fail because they don't apply the information, resources and tools to their own lives that they have gathered.

My grandmother always said. "God does not make junk." I never really understood why she was always telling me this to recently. I looked in the mirror and I saw someone worth looking at. It hit me, she had been trying to tell me all along that I was as good as anyone else. God had not made junk. The more I realize that God dwells in each and every one of us, the more my grandmother's lessons drive home. She was always saying, "your body is the temple of god." I always thought that meant that if I wanted God in me.. I had to have this perfect body. Since I have yet to acquire that, do to personal weakness, there was always a part of me that thought God was not with me. I had no idea he had always been there and she was trying to tell me to get some paint, clean the carpets and I might want to wash those windows.

The truth is, what ever is making you miserable in life, stop doing it! Don't like your job, get a different one. No, don't quit the one you have in this uncertain economic time, look for a job. However, there are many ways in life that we make ourselves miserable and then we just keep doing those things.  Point of this article- stop it and do what makes you happy!

The Price of Happiness

In our society today, we put price tags on happiness.  If I can afford this.. if only I had that. I would be happy.  And if that were true, happiness would be such an easy thing to find.  But the truth is, once we have the 'one thing' we have been coveting, (if we ever get it) we just choose something else we now have to have. 

In America, teenagers talk about that first car.  Oh yeah, the show room model would be nice but most teenagers get excited if it is theirs and it drives.  But soon, that is not enough and the competition begins to have one cooler then Joe.  Then it has to have the latest rims to be happy. The cranking pounding stereo has to be found to be happy.  Yet, this never truly lasts.

Today, I was reminded of this lesson on a simple ski slope.  Our daughter had never been skiing or snowboarding.  A local ski business had a special where you could go up and for $58.00 get a lesson and equipment, everything you needed to try it for the first time.  It was her Christmas present.  I fretted the whole time I was wrapping it up. What if she hates snowboarding? What if she breaks something?  And mentally, the price tag just kept going up. 

We got to that mountain and with great excitement she got her snowboard and boots and headed off to her class. I sat down on a bench on a beautiful snowy Sunday Morning and marveled.  It didn't last long. Twenty minutes into the lesson, I noticed my daughter sitting out of the class.  My heart sank.  Every fear hammered home.  $58.00 wasted for twenty minutes of lessons and her giving up.  The whole time I was waiting to join her, I was mentally seething at the cost and loss of money for something that she didn't even finish.  I joined her on the bench and looked into her eyes.  I didn't see the 58.00 wasted dollars.  I saw a life time of expectation crashing down in on her as her fondest desire had become a nightmare.  She couldn't stand in the boots required for snowboarding without pain in her ankle that she had injured.  "Let's just go home mom." I could hear the heart rending pain as it ripped through me.  I looked back out at that mountain for a long moment. 

I patted her on the head and told her to wait there.  I went into the ski school and talked to the instructors.  They were extremely sorrowed to hear that she was giving up.  They made a wonderous offer.  If she would reoutfit into a ski set up, they would set her up with a private instructor.   I girded up for the battle and headed back to Johanna.  It took a little maternal browbeating but we got her back into gear.  They sent over to her the nicest man and he took her by the hand and led her back out onto that mountain.   Her ankle was still giving her troubles and she struggled and fell but she didn't give up. 

The price of happiness was not a $58.00 dollar package.  The price of happiness was a little perseverance.  It sank home as she successfully made it up the rope tow for the first time. That smile was the same smile I saw when she walked the first time, rode a bike the first time, stopped her first soccer goal.  The price of happiness is the smile you give to another because you don't give up on them and  you don't let them give up either. 

Happy as You Want to Be

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Revenge - A Dish Best NOT Served!

The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.

- Marcus Aurelius

In life and business, we cannot get sucked into the concept of revenge. If we turn our focus away from our own personal success and fullfillment, we lose the balance that is necessary to maintain it. Revenge requires a great deal of wasted energy on the emotions behind it, the plotting and coniving that goes with it. If you want revenge, then get it through the very thing you desire most, success in your life.

Most people who cause us hurt or injury are usually jealous of us anyway. So rather then wasting that energy, just keep getting better and better. Then not only can you smile at the frustration of the one who was jealous, but you can do so with a clean conscience and without hours of wasted fretting and fuming.

It is strange how for centuries, great poets, prophets and political leaders have been telling us the keys to happiness and success, yet we continue to beat our heads against the stone wall next to the door. Go back to the old quotes, the old knowledge. The human experience has not changed. Jealousy and hatred has existed since man first had something that another did not.

True happiness is being okay within your own skin. Living each day the best you can and going to bed knowing it was your best. It is not caring what others think but being open minded enough to hear their feedback in case you missed something or cannot see it due to lack of knowledge or bad habit. Let the little people in life waste away on hatred and jealousy. Let them spend energy on revenge. That is just that much less competition you have in seeking out success in your own life.

Do Not Chase Happiness for You Will Never Catch It

Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder.

- Henry David Thoreau

It is amazing to me how we lose sight of gratitude in our haste and search for more. So many in our world have put price tags or destinations on 'happiness'. Happiness will not be achieved when I get______________ or have _________ in the bank. This can be seen by the many who have such things and are miserable to the point of even suicide.

Happiness is a state of mind. Whether we want to admit it or not, we can achieve happiness at any moment if we but set our minds to it. All you have to do is take a moment and remember moments that brought you a smile. Make a gratitude list for all the things you have right now.

In school, a well provided student asked a group of us why the old man on the corner with the hot dog cart was always so happy. In her perspective, since he did not have the house, the car and the lifestyle she enjoyed, he could not possibly be happy. We talked her into asking him, how he always had a smile. He told us a story that still brings tears to my eyes. This wonderful man who sold hotdogs spoke of a war that few of us had first had a first had awareness. He told of a beautiful wife that still graced his home. He spoke of a daughter that had survived cancer. He then talked of how he had nearly died from a heart attack and he was thankful that the good Lord was given him another day to hold his wife. Needless to say, his story was far better told and much more heart rendering from his lips. I still smile at his final words. "Best of all, I get to stand and chat with pretty young things like you all day and get paid to do it." We all bought a hotdog with a smile and a bit of reflection on how much we take life for granted.

If you are chasing happiness, STOP, you will never catch it. You already have everything you need in your possession. Refocus on what you have and not on what you have yet to acquire. Would the journey for more then be about just adding to the joy you already have in your life. Whether it is marriage, business, relationships or even possessions, the grass is rarely greener on the other side. We have just lost site of the preciousness on our side of the fence. In this month of Gratitude, reflect and find the very thing you have been chasing - Happiness!



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