"Have One Week, Will Relax"

Your 7 days program to Stress management

They say there's more than one way to skin a cat. The same goes when you start tearing your hair out with all the frustration, grief, anxiety, and yes, stress. It's a state of mental conditioning that is like taking that bitter pill down your throat, causing you to lose your sense of self, and worse your sanity. Just thinking about it can drive anyone off the edge.

And they say that the proactive ones are already living off the edge.

As one stressed-out person to another, I know how it feels, and believe me there are many variants when it comes to stress. Coping with life, and carrying the problems that may or may not belong to you can scratch away the little joy and happiness that you can carry once you head out that door. You can't blame them for being like that; they have their own reasons, so much like we have our reasons to allow stress to weigh us down. They say that stress is all in the mind, well, what's bugging you anyway?

There are several ways to manage stress, and eventually remove it out of your life one of these days. So I'll try to divide it into a seven-day course for you and I promise it's not going to be too taxing on the body, as well as on the mind.

1. Acknowledge stress is good
Make stress your friend! Based on the body's natural "fight or flight" response, that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I've yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Avoid stress sneezers
Stressed people sneeze stress germs indiscriminately and before you know it, you are infected too!

Protect yourself by recognizing stress in others and limiting your contact with them. Or if you've got the inclination, play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage themselves.

3. Learn from the best
When people around are losing their head, who keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?
Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Practice socially acceptable heavy breathing
This is something I've learned from a gym instructor: You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Give stressy thoughts the red light
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. "If this happens, then that might happen and then we're all up the creek!" Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong - how likely is that, and what can you do to prevent it?

6. Know your trigger points and hot spots
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines…. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?

Knowing what causes you stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to decaf?

7. Burn the candle at one end
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it's often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don't burn the candle at both ends!

So having stress can be a total drag, but that should not hinder us to find the inner peace of mind that we have wanted for a long time. In any case, one could always go to the Bahamas and bask under the summer sun.

Complaining is Not Problem Solving - Part Two

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The reason it is so easy to complain rather then solve problems is that we have become a society of addicts and self-indulgent behaviors. That may sound harsh but look at the list of addictions facing our society today. (these are not in any particularity order)

* Fast and Easy: Most of us have never known true lack in our life. Since our country recovered from the last World War and the Great Depression, here in the USA we have been on the upswing until recently. We have learned to expect everything at our fingertips. Most people in the cities would have no idea how to survive if their electronics ceased to function for them and the grocery store could no longer provide for them. Our news, our money, even our food can be delivered to us with ease and no effort on our parts. This is very evident in many employees under the age of 30. Employers are finding they are quick to jump to the next employer that might offer them more. They quit when they feel they are made to work TOO hard. They quit when "their" needs are not met. It is like the employment is their right and the employer is there to provide them with something rather then the other way around. Much of the complaining in a work place environment is connected to this mentality. "My employer does not give me time to study this material and ACTUALLY expects me to learn what I need for promotion on MY time."

*Internet - This has become an addiction for many. Whether it be online games, just surfing or chat rooms - it has a severe impact. A definition of an addiction is anything done to excess that causes harm in your life. This addiction has destroyed marriages, has led to isolation from face to face relationships and has even been connected to neglect and death of children.

*Food - An addiction that is epidemic in the USA and many other countries. Like a drug addict, food has become a solace to true needs. It is used to nullify emotions, deal with stress and cover other problems. Add to this the combined problem of the changes in our food supply due to the fast and easy addiction and we meet this need with foods that are harmful, add fat and no true nutrition. This only increases the need as sugar and harmful carbs are actually craved.

*Alcohol - I have separated this from other drug addictions but let me make it clear there is no difference between the Heroin Addict under the bridge and the socialite who can not go the evening without her daily cocktails. I separated it because so many in society will say well yes I drink, but at least I am not using drugs. If jobs are lost, relationships damaged, children neglected due to alcohol use, then alcohol IS the problem. Alcohol is legal, this is true. It is still a drug. So is Oxycontin if you have a prescription, but if abused it is still an addiction. Alcohol makes it easy to scream out your woes and totally blocks most people from any true solution. Oh, they may come up with a solution and even act on it; but often it is not well thought out.

*Drugs - Many people in our society have learned to turn to pills for easy solutions. Every pain, sad thought and frantic moment is often medicated these days. Only a physician can say if this is really necessary. Unfortunately, many people have began to self medicate. They take other people's prescriptions. When that fails, they are forced to seek out street dealers. Methamphetamine is becoming a rampant problem. It started on the west coast and is spreading east. Unlike many addictive substances, one use can lead to a full blown addiction. Families destroyed, jobs lost, possessions sold till at last the addict is forced to a life of crime to meet the overpowering need. Unlike many drugs, due to how it is manufactured and what it is made up of, it's effects on the body are horrendous. It eats the teeth from the inside out. So the addict may not see the harm for sometime. It eats away at the body, sucking up the individual to a thin skeleton who ages with each passing week. It leads to often permanent mental health conditions due to damage to the brain from the drug itself and from sleep deprivation and malnutrition.

There are many other addictions out there impacting societies beside the USA, we are not unique in that aspect. The drug of choice may vary. The latest gambling idea may be different as well. But addiction is an epidemic that impacts almost all families in some way. We must as individuals learn to solve our problems without the use of a crutch. When we have done that, we can teach our families to do the same. Then our families can reach out and show our society how to face life on life's terms. Learning to solve our problems despite whether they are emotional, physical, social or spiritual is the first step in true happiness and prosperity in life.